i cannot understand most of your post because it is referencing things that are personal to you with not enough information, and the rest of it is just warbling on about nothing in particular - so it is very hard to follow. however, it is clear from your post that you both seem immature for grown adults and have issues in maintaining relationships. you also both seem to want different things. he clearly needs space and time for himself (and has spelled that out for you), and you sound quite clingy and needy, responding badly when he defends that need for down time. he may well be very busy and need time to rest and do things in his daily life that are essential (shopping, eating, washing etc. before just getting to bed at night!). i don't think this relationship will go the distance. you are already arguing and falling out about commitment, at such an early phase of a relationship, and he has admitted himself that he has not been ready for this kind of partnership until now (at 43 years of age!). i think you are asking him for things he cannot deliver and making your own mind up about what is going on without discussing it calmly and rationally with him and rowing about it instead. you have two choices - grow up a bit and talk about the issues and agree solutions to them - and sticking with them, without slinging all kinds of accusations at this chap; or deciding if all the problems now are too much and to cut your losses before you invest any more time in a relationship that seems very unstable and dramatic. love does not have to be such a pantomime, and if you are clingy, nagging and demanding, most blokes will run a mile! you need to decide whether it is worth it or not - we cannot advise you either way. but you sound like hard work, and i think you need to address some of your own behaviour before either taking it out on someone else, or expecting them to bend over backwards to please you. it is a two-way street, but you do not seem t recognise this.