Would You...??

[jd_1984]

Charge a wedding guest, who had RSVP'd that they would attend their wedding, but, then NOT turn up without giving notice - for their meal?

Well this is what a friend of a friend did to him last week.

He got a polite note requesting £50 (2 x£25 wedding meals) from the newly weds. He didn't attend due to work commitments and felt awful for not letting them know. But would you pay?

[murraymints]

nope..but then I would have let them know

[jd_1984]

Oh and in case anybody watched Loose Women this week - its a separate case. I believe this was discussed on that programme.

[ummmm]

The story I read was that the baby sitter let them down with very short notice.

No, I wouldn't charge them.

[Elina]

I probably would, as really it's manners to let someone know.

[Mamyalynne]

What next? Contractual agreements appended to invitations?


Ridiculous state of affairs.

[Georgiesmum]

No way would I charge them, no way!

[Elina]

Though the other way round I wouldn't look for payment back.

[Prudie]

OMG no I wouldn't pay and I wouldn't ask either. What difference would it make to the bride and groom if the food had gone down a guest's neck or not, they still had to pay. I'm actually quite stunned at the idea.

[AlwaysConfused]

No, it's rude. You'd cater for a certain number of people not turning up anyway

[Elina]

I think you'd have to be pretty hard nosed to follow getting your money back of a guest.

[Mosaic]

I don't suppose the 'fined' couple will be handing over that lovely set of grapefruit knives then.....

[AlwaysConfused]

Sorry, didn't read the question properly - //no it's rude// i was referring to someone asking them to pay. And no, I wouldn't pay. In fact they'd probably lose a friend through doing so

[andy-hughes]

The notion of RSVP really doesn't work any more in this country.

Years ago, you got a written invitation to a function - you wrote back, because that was the courtesy of the day.

Now, people either don't write back because they are coming, so they think they don't need to bother, and they turn up, or they don't write back because they are not coming, and they don't turn up.

The end result is, the hosts have no idea how may people to cater for.

For a sit-down wedding, this is more of an issue, but if people don't come, that's the way it goes.

If you value someone's friendship enough to invite them to share your special day, why would you ruin that friendship by turning the event into a financial transaction? The guilt is on the missing guest(s), the magnanimous acceptance is on the hosts.

I would not ask for money, more because of what it says about my lack of manners, than what it says about the guest who did not appear or notify me in advance..

[phleb]

No, its not right to charge guests. I wouldn't pay.

[Elina]

Spot on Andy!

[carolegif]

This happened at my daughter's wedding a few years ago, a guest rang on the morning to say she and her partner would not be coming, so we let some friends who were only going to the evening come to the reception too. No food was wasted and they had a great day! I think you have to accept that people will do this and of course, not invite tham to anything else!!

[meglet]

I wouldn't (and didn't) charge for no-shows to a wedding. But I do think it's the height of rudeness not to inform the couple that he wasn't going to be able to make it. The bride and groom would have paid in advance anyway and, as Prudie says, it matters not if the meal was eaten or not.

I wouldn't pay but would send a grovelling apology with the wedding present if he wants to keep the friendship.

[woofgang]

I really hate the way wedding celebrations are going starting with save the date cards...used to be that if you were invited and didn't want to go, it was manners to say "oh sorry" can't make that day" and that was that. Now there's save the date, upfront requests for cash contributions, hen and stag do's have turned into week long holidays and people use the weak excuse that they'd love to get married but can't afford it. Since when was the wedding more important than the marriage?

[Elina]

Would you pay if asked Andy?

[Elina]

I know you wouldn't not reply (neither would I) .... but if you'd totally overlooked it say, would you pay if asked Andy ..