'poncification' - What's Your Complaint?

[Answerprancer]

Ok, this is a 'whinge-in'.

'Poncification': when things in everyday life become 'poncified'.
I'm sure you know what I mean, but in case you don't, it's the pretentious tarting up of every day things we normally just accept as normal and mundane.

I'll give a couple of infuriating examples that irritate me...

1) Ferrero Rocher (thanks UKAnonymous for the inspiration) - sweets made to look like what they ain't.

2) 'Stand-alone' sinks in pubs that have been 'done up' complete with little squirty top soap/moisturiser dispensers.

[Quizproquo]

I'm a Customer Care Coordinator Newjudge, so you'd hate me...until you needed me that is. ;)

[Quizproquo]

Another conversational one that has really taken hold is the phrase "going forward".
I absolutely detest it. What happened to in future?

[DTCwordfan]

Vice President.......of what? the toilets, the car park, paper clips....?

[Hypognosis]

@divebuddy

You can, likewise, conjugate the verb "to podium".

I would write more but I am temporarily discomknockerated by the idea of perpendicular cutlery.

[Retrochic]

yes the Olympics -famous for meddling and peddling

[ummmm]

On frying...

Pan fry - minimal oil.
Shallow fry - more oil.
Deep fry - even more oil.

[New Judge]

Why would you deep fry calf's liver? Fried liver would do. "Pan fried" tends to describe the vessel rather than the depth of the oil.

Can't find a picture of my "perpendicular cutlery", hypo. Imagine a conventional knife: hold the handle and twist the blade through ninety degrees. The result is a tool which, when you hold the handle vertically in the conventional fashion, the blade lies horizontal instead of vertical. So, in order to use it you have to hold the handle horizontally. Most uncomfortable (even worse is the matching fork). It is a typically "smart-***" development (or more properly regression) of something which has worked perfectly well since time began but which, for some strange reason, some idiot felt the need to change. The first time I saw this stuff I thought the restauranteur had bought a batch of seconds. But then I saw the same stuff somewhere else. Perhaps Arfur Daley's been on his rounds.

[Hypognosis]

@NewJudge

Ah!

I was actually picturing 'L' shaped implements at first. "Fun"... until someone goes onto autopilot and pokes themself in the eye.

Your description just there had me momentarily picturing the tips of the implements pointed toward the ceiling but you can't do that and eat at the same time, obviously. If you'd said "axial 90° turn" I'd probably got your meaning first time around. I am *that* pedantic.

I cannot recall the source but swear I've seen some antique thing, on TV, with a knife contraption that had an angle adjuster locknut mechanism where the blade met the handle. (A dirt trap; probably from before the age when the need for thourough washing became more pressing than postural comfort or showiness).

[Answerprancer]

It would seem that "panini" only exists in this country as a poncified name for what is essentially a Brevilled bit of bread and cheese.
I was in a cafe in Richmond a couple of days ago, a cafe that has been partially affected by poncification and I asked the waitress if they did panini - she looked puzzled and asked what it means "because in my country it means bread" so I asked her where she was from and she said "Italy".

[DaisyNonna]

Hand tied bouquets
Dread to think whatever other appendages might be used

[Sycamore3House]

Al the coffee types in Costa/Starbucks etc latte = Milky coffee, Cappuccino = frothy coffee, Americano = Black coffee etc etc

[Answerprancer]

Yeah, and the way they pronounce it! "laaah-tay".

[DaisyNonna]

Is there anywhere I can just buy a cup of coffee?

[Answerprancer]

A 'builder' cafe?

[Answerprancer]

There are plenty of good old fashioned 'fry up' places that still just do coffee!
There are three good ones near me all (conveniently) set in different directions.

[Gavmacp]

Definitely coffee what is going on there? Flat white, tall black etc

[Answerprancer]

Well I admit I do like Cafe Nero and I always go for "Americano with milk" because I know it's basically just a couple of espresso shots, hot water and milk - bingo! a decent strong coffee :-)