My Fiancee Wants To Wait Another 3 More Years Until We Get Married, Is That A Little Too Much

[jacobnguyen9857]

I am a 25 year old vietnamese american man living in california and I have a fiancee who I was introduced to by family when I visited vietnam last time. I was supposed to marry her this summer and she all of a sudden postponed our wedding for another 3 years stating she has to care for her family. I am kind of irritated that she did that because I met her in 2011 and we were planning on getting married this year summer 2016 and she all of a sudden did this. Is this too much of her to make me wait another 3 years ?

[Mamyalynne]

I'm afraid only you can decide to wait or not.

[Gizmonster]

Do you live together, or is this a long distance relationship ??

[jacobnguyen9857]

@Gizmonster no we actually don't live together yet, i was gonna marry her in vietnam and bring her to the u.s this year.

[Bathsheba]

Jacob...I'd leave well alone there,..it seems to me that she wants to make her family your responsibility. Get out now is my advice.

Baths
x x x

[mastercraft]

It appears that you don't know each other very well.
I'd rule out marriage if I were in the same position.

[Old_Geezer]

Surely she gave an explanation. Up to you whether you then think this unilateral change on plan is worth accepting. If you say, "No", what will she decide ? Is it a deal breaker for her ? It may indicate how she feels. But the reason for the delay might be critical information.

[Old_Geezer]

Oh sorry. I don't see the responsibility to care for the family suddenly appeared between when plans were agreed and now. Is the responsibility going to change/lessen after three years ? Folk come with issues. Only you can decide whether she's worth hanging around indefinitely for.

[ummmm]

I've been engaged for 7 years!!!

[Old_Geezer]

Was that three years followed by an unexpected three year extention followed by a further extension ?

[ummmm]

Lol...no...it's just we're too lazy to organize a wedding :-)

[EDDIE51]

^ get him to meet you at the registrar office one lunch time and get it done, only takes 10 mins and the office provide a witness.

[RATTER15]

I've also been engaged 7 years but I wouldn't be *** around like that.

[ummmm]

Eddie...that's the kind of wedding I want. Get our bags packed, quick marriage at registrar office...and then on to the airport for a nice holiday.

He doesn't want a big wedding but he wants his mum there, I don't.

If his mum comes his dad will have to come. Then I'll have to invite my mum and it'll end up a big wedding.

[Bathsheba]

I've lived with Sgt Troy for 33 years, and we're not even engaged :(

Baths
x x x

[Gizmonster]

... all depends on if you're happy to wait .... and if it's what you BOTH want.

Been with my missus nearly 26 years .... lived together for approx 20 years .... been engaged for approx 15 years ....

[jourdain2]

Given the circs., how about doing a registrar's office wedding, but agreeing that she should prioritise her family for 3 years, whilst living with you?

If that's not on - quite frankly I should forget it. Sorry.

[CupBuster]

I think it looks like the wrong type of snow. Maybe she does not want to go to the U.S.? Maybe she is afraid of leaving her home? Try to converse in an open and frank manner with her.