Non-Acknowledged Presents.

[Jennykenny]

Went to see friends in Portugal in early September. They had a lovely granddaughter and when I went home I sent a rather nice teddy bear and a card separately under brown paper wrapping (traditional pretty wrapping inside).
No response. Am I a bit naive thinking that they would have at least emailed to say it arrived?

[ummmm]

When did you get back from Portugal?

How long before you bought and sent the present?

It's only the 2nd of October!!

[Prudie]

If it's anything like the Spain their postal system is notoriously unreliable. Are you sure it's arrived even?

[Jennykenny]

Fair enough. But I regularly send books etc to other friends in Portugal and Spain and they arrive within a week. It's been three weeks now. I don't think that I am being unreasonable in expecting an email to say - 'Thanks, it's arrived.'
Ps I lived in Portual for three years and Spain for thirteen years so I have fair idea of how long things take between countries.

[ummmm]

3 weeks still isn't long.

It's not unreasonable to expect a thank you but I think you're being a little impatient.

[Prudie]

In that case it would be quite reasonable to e-mail them and say you sent a parcel and are concerned whether it arrived safely.

[hellywelly4]

I would send a 'gentle' email saying you hoped the parcel arrived safely.

[Jennykenny]

Yes Helly, you are probably right. It's just part of me goes back to childhood when we had to write a thank-you letter immediately.

[ummmm]

My friend got married last year and we put money in a card. We didn't receive a thank you for about 4 months. I assumed she either forgotten, it got lost or she was busy.

[Jennykenny]

I sent an email saying words to the effect that I hoped they were all well and that the baby liked her present. Within minutes I got an email back to say thank you.
I do feel that I shouldn't have had to prompt them.

[woofgang]

If its a dealbreaker then dump the friendship, if it isn’t then let it go.

[DTCwordfan]

if it's their first, they were probably besotted with her....a friend of mine has become a grandad this week and he has been sold completely down the River Tamar.

[ummmm]

People get wrapped up in day to day life and have a tendency to put things off until tomorrow...tomorrow never comes though.

[jomifl]

Agree with ummm, some people just don't do thankyou letters for many reasons. If I am concerned that someone received a parcel I just enquire casually when the opportunity arises.

[eanceoil]

All things involved with new baby in the house, a teddy is that last thing one would be thinking of, I gift folk, it pleases me, if they thank me, that's nice, if there no response I don't worry, seeking gratitude is not a reason to gift someone. those days are long gone

[Jennykenny]

Eanceoil 'seeking gratitude is not a reason to gift someone' it's not so much that as wanting to know whether the present actually arrived.
By the way, 'gift' is not a verb.

[jennyjoan]

I echo you JennyKenny - but like yourself I don't expect any answers so then I dont feel hurt in not getting one - I now give it in the expectation of one - but so if I do but so be if I do - haven't said that I feel pleasure I do get one of thanks - That little word thanks lifts my heart so much.

Think Jenny we are off the old stock - that would be it. Make your mind next time - either you do or you don/t

My next neighbour has started from 4 grandbabies to which I have given a present - no thanks. Now she is onto 12th grandbaby in 3 years - I no longer buy. And am glad I have stopped that - since also the thanks stopped to

[mikey4444]

Hellywelly has it right here.....leave it for another week and send an email enquiring if the teddy bear has arrived, as you had heard that the postal system has its problems.

By the way, this sort of thing happens all the time to me.....it may just be bad behaviour !

[windywillow]

IMO, regardless of how busy one is in life, there's absolutely no excuse for not acknowledging an act of kindness.

I guess I am 'old school' too - the first thing I'd do after receiving a gift through the post, is jot off a quick email to thank the recipient and let them know it has arrived safely. Just common courtesy to me.

[mikey4444]

Windywillow....I am "old School" as well. When I was a kid, back in the 50's and 60's, I was made to sit down and write a short but very polite "thank you" letter. These days that can be done in seconds, with text, email, etc. and there is no excuse whatsoever for not doing so. None !

[Cloverjo]

I always send my nephews money for their birthdays. Since I know sending cash through the post isn't the safest way to do it, it would be nice to know it got there, if not a "thank you".