Tipping The Hearse Driver

[crackernut2]

can anyone tell me if it is customary to tip the hearse and family car drivers at
at one's parent's funeral.
Thank you

[Islay]

Aberdeen Murray, if you didn't tip the drivers used to say she'd never be able to hold her head up again!!

Lol I did try to point out that she wouldn't see it - but nevermind!!

[woofgang]

I didn’t tip at Dh’s funeral, but when I went to pay the balance, I took in a biggish package of posh biscuits and other coffee break goodies with a card to say thank you to all the staff involved. I have no idea whether that’s the “usual thing” or not. I did the same at our GP surgery, his dialysis and and at the NHS community services office who supported him at home.

[Mamyalynne]

I sent Thank you cards to similar Woofgang.

[ummmm]

I just don't think at a time of immense grief that anyone should even consider tips.

It's their job.

A nice gesture like what Woof did I'm sure would be appreciated.

[yogi-bear]

Much like Lie-in King, never ever thought to consider it, but I feel would be inappropriate to do this. A taxi to and from the airport, for instance...maybe, if you feel so inclined, but not something as sensitive as this......just wouldn't be right....as Ummmm correctly mentions.

May I offer you my sincerest condolences on your loss, crackernut2 x

[naomi24]

It used to be common practice in the East End. I don't know if it still is. If you need to know what 'the done thing' is, crackernut, don't be afraid to ring the funeral director and ask. You can't go wrong then.

[ummmm]

Naomi - was that before funerals became what they are today, which is big business nowadays.

Crackernut...I'm sorry I didn't offer my condolences earlier x

[naomi24]

Ummmm, not necessarily. I've known people give tips in recent times - I just don't know if it's still common practice in the East End. I don't live there.

[ummmm]

Maybe it's just tradition then.

A good family friend is an undertaker so I'll ask him the protocol when I go back home next month. Sorry it'll be too late for crackernut though.

[naomi24]

I think tradition might vary from place to place. Murraymints said it's common practice where she lives - you say it isn't where you live - so it's probably best that crackernut2 asks the Funeral Director.

[grasscarp]

I never heard of this and certainly didnt tip them at my husbands funeral, or even think of that, last year. One thing I will never forget is my 7 year old grandson's question to his mummy as they entered the church. "What's in that box?"

[ummmm]

I just think it's like getting a receipt that says 'service charge included'

[ladybirder]

Oh bless him grasscarp. I guess he knew but wanted confirmation, half hoping it wasn't true?

[grasscarp]

I don't know Ladybirder. Some months later he was talking about his grandad and I said that he was in heaven. He asked "Is heaven in that box?"

[Quizmonster]

At my father's funeral 30 years ago - also in north-east Scotland - I spotted the two grave-diggers basically trying to conceal themselves behind a very large gravestone so as not to offend the mourners. Once the service was over, I walked across and handed over a £20.00 note saying, "Get yourselves a drink, lads!" I always assumed that the funeral director's staff were automatically given some form of 'tip' as part of the overall fee.
(Twenty quid was worth a bob or two in those days; and yeah, I do know how much it was worth!)

[crackernut2]

Thank you everyone. We decided not to give any tips as we thought the funeral costs were sufficiently high to see that everyone was looked after.
I must say that, after having the seed planted, I was feeling pretty guilty for not doing so.