Dropping Kids Off At Nursery For A Full Day - Is This Right?

[Deskdiary]

Whilst I think it's none of the business of the woman who left the note in the link for parents dumping their kids off at nursery, is she correct?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5149365/Mystery-note-scolds-Muswell-Hill-parents-using-nursery.html

When our first child arrived we took the old fashioned decision that we wanted a parent to raise her rather than a stranger, and therefore my wife gave up work (and she had a damned good job). It was a real struggle going down to one salary and we sacrificed a lot, for years, but ultimately we felt it was worth the sacrifice.

[murraymints]

interfering busybody... most couples need both to work these days to survive..sure any mum would rather stay at home with children..if they can afford to !

[zebo]

I'm sure we could all criticise other people's choices, including the note-writer's, maybe s/he should be concentrating on their own life rather than wasting time on long screeds. This sort of thing always reminds me of the song, Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way.

[EDDIE51]

She has a point, it does develop better bonding if a child remains with it's mother and father for the first 2 or 3 years of it's life.
However with the cost of housing as high as it is I can see that it is an economic necessity for a mother to return to work as soon as possible. Especially in an are as expensive as Muswell Hill. I am certain the nursery provides the very highest standard of care but it can't substitute for a mother's love and care in the very early years.

[Old_Geezer]

The notes are uncalled for. Different opinions can be valid. Times have changed and folk now expect/demand a higher material level of living than previous generations accepted; and that means foregoing quality time with offspring to earn the money to buy the goods. It's a personal decision.

[naomi24]

Unlike most people that woman clearly lives in an ideal world. I confess I frown upon people who do have a choice but opt for money, but that said many people don’t have the luxury of choice and so do the best they can.

[emmie]

don't see what sheila is fussed about, she should be minding her baby, as well as her business.

[albaqwerty]

Sheila should stop presuming it's mothers who are taking the children to nursery.
Maybe one or two are aunties as the child no longer has a mother, maybe one or two mums are also bereaved and therefore are the sole earners.

[Old_Geezer]

Quite right, it's probably the au pair in Muswell ;-)

[pixie374]

It's none of her business- different things suit different people and many have to work anyway. My granddaughter is due to start nursery in January and she will only just be 2, but my daughter is a single parent and has to work and so do I. I do think she is young to go- and I will worry about her, but I think you do whatever age they start.
This might be out of date now, but when I did the Child Development part of Psychology- it was the first 2 years that babies need only the mother, not 4 years. But you do what you have to and if it's a good nursery and good parents, I'm sure the children will be fine.

[EDDIE51]

OG has a point, in Muswell Hill it is more likely to be the AuPair rather than the mother who is dropping the child off and picking them up.

[Islay]

Is there any evidence that a child raised at home by their parent is better behaved or a better person than a child that goes to nursery school full time Eddie?

[EDDIE51]

Nowhere in the link does it say how old the 'Baby' is. It could be 2 or 3.
I don't suppose it is under a year old. I have not heard of many nurseries that take children under 3, a childminder is more likely for that age where a baby would get constant care by a 'substitute Mum'.
But if you read the actual letter it does say that the child is dropped off at 8 ish and not picked up until 7 ish, so 11 hours at a stretch away from Mum. That does to me sound too long, the child will need to go to sleep almost as soon as it is picked up , allowing for a full night's sleep the child can be seeing nothing of it Mum at all during the working week.

[pixie374]

Some Nurseries take babies from 6 weeks old. The mum doesn't necessarily work every day, Eddie... it may be a couple of times a week.

[EDDIE51]

Islay your comment is beside the point. I have no information and I can see no possible way to prove or disprove it. I very much doubt that such research has ever been or will be done.
My opinion is that it is far from the ideal, but financial pressure may mean it is not possible to do other.

[Islay]

If I may ask a personal question Eddie - who raised your children and took them to school etc?

[EDDIE51]

pixie I agree, we just do not have evidence one way or the other, this is the Daily Wail remember. It habitually only publishes the side of a story that will cause the maximum reaction.

[albaqwerty]

dropping a child off at 8 then picking them up at 7 doesn't make them bad parents.
dropping a child off at 8, then 1hr commute to work, work til 5/6pm then commute back and collect child.

Was once met with a comment from a mum at school bus-stop, 'now that your youngest is in school, you'll be looking for a job then?'
took great delight in telling her I had 3 part-time jobs and had been doing so since the youngest was 2 years old.

She knew nothing so I told her to keep her neb out.

[EDDIE51]

Islay, all our 5 children were raised exclusively by my wife and I. Never sent them to school until they were old enough to go to first school. Then my wife took them and collected them every day. She was a also child minder for a couple who were both teachers at a school in a different town. They dropped their 2 children off at our house at 8 am and my wife took them into school with our own children then picked them up and looked after them until their Mum and Dad came and collected them at 4.30pm.
I worked full time and in 2 jobs so it was mainly my wife that did the day to day child care, she did not work, apart from the child minding. Which was officially registered with the school and the local council.

[Islay]

OK Thank you

[Sqad]

I agree with Islay......there is no evidence that is reliable that i can find which shows that the normal development of a child is inhibited by going to a nursery and being devoid of that "bonding" ( whatever that is)and this busy body should mind her own business.