Would You Accept His From Your Long Term Partner

[MDWCT2018]

I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and we have been living together for 8 months now .In the early stages he was in awe of me but he has since, become more comfortable with me.
He lives with me in my flat. we have a next door neighbour who is a single mother with a young boy. The mother is a little bit nuts as one would expect being on her own with her child, but she does 'strange' things too such as walking in the hallway to throw her rubbish in sexy slips etc. Hmmmm......
Her child is very sweet and cute, but makes a lot of noise and I mean A-LOT of noise. If he is not screaming and throwing things and whining, it is his mother.
I have complained many times about this to the landlord because these are tiny city flats with thin walls, not exactly the ideal place to raise a child. The mother doesn't work and they never seem to leave their flat. My boyfriend agrees the woman is crazy but thinks I am a b***h for complaining about the child. Believe me, it not something I have done lightly but at 3 am it is like a banshee wailing and is scary. My best friend has said that for whatever reason my boyfriend has taken this Childs side (even though obviously my fight is not with the child) and that I deserve more loyalty from him. My friend has basically said that my boyfriend has chosen this child over me .... do you see it that way?

[spathiphyllum]

When it's 2K a month, then you usually have a choice in the situation.

If OP's work is helping pay the rent, then it's certainly not council property.

[Mamyalynne]

Your friend is full of theories isn't she?

[MDWCT2018]

calico girl Yes it is my business if it affecting the quality of my life.. I mentioned the £2000 a month because of the fact that she is not short of options if she can pay or is getting assistance to pay for it .... do you not think there is something strange about a 5 year old bedroom being the living room???!!!!

[Calicogirl]

Massive assumption on your part then MDW.
I'm quite a live and let live sort of person, and I don't consider myself to be any better or worse than anyone else, nor do I presume to decide in my own tiny mind where I think other people should live. She pays her rent (which obviously bothers and upsets you as it puts her on a level par with you) and she lives in the same building as you do. I don;t think she's selfish, I think you are demanding and unreasonable.
This started over the fact that your boyfriend who also lives there also thinks you are demanding and unreasonable, so think about about it, perhaps you are?

[MDWCT2018]

chelle7272 because these are privately owned properties, not council flats as Spath correctly noticed

[spathiphyllum]

Only you have mentioned demanding and unreasonable calico. You are sounding quite salty towards MDWCT. offering your opinion is fine but now it seems you're attacking someone with insults.

[chelle7272]

I didn;t say it was council.
I asked you if you had bothered to ask her anything about her siutuation or if this was all guesswork on your part.
Not many women who don't work would choose to spend their full days alone with a child in a single bed flat. (Not sure how you know this with working 12 hours though!?)


I agree with calicogirl. You sound spoiled and selfish. I think your OH may be realising it too....

[MDWCT2018]

Calico I think you are taking this all personally. I have a right to the quiet enjoyment of my property. You have turned this into something about his woman when my question was about my boyfriend, not her. I dont know perhaps you are speaking from your own experience, because that is not what my question is about. If she choses to live in a one bedroom flat with a 5 year old boy then it is her responsibility not to cause 'noise nuisance' with the constant bickering and whining and in general noise. these flats were not made for that. That is a fact.

[MDWCT2018]

Calicogirl if my boyfriend and I were fighting and making noise at 3 am or throughout the day at a nuisance and disturbance to her and her child I am sure she would have a lot to say. And I think you would too if it were happening to you!

[spathiphyllum]

good advice danver regarding talking to other neighbours.

[woofgang]

you still haven't said whether you have spoken to your neighbour and tried a friendly approach?

[spathiphyllum]

If a noisy child and mother were disrupting hotel guests, then the hotel will take action. I think if it's where you actually live 24/7 then you most certainly have a right to at least complain. It's not like MDWCT is posting poo through her letterbox out of spite. They're taking the correct steps and trying to keep it civil.

[Calicogirl]

Spath, I just find it irritating that someone comes on here claiming her boyfriend was 'in awe of her', moaning about someone being a single mother, commenting on what they choose to wear to put the bins out (like anyone cares), asking if people would 'accept' it from their partner, then mentioning in quite a 'salty' way as you put it that the flat costs £2k per month (again like anyone cares) and essentially implying that people like this lady ought not to be living there. Then she proceeds to character assassinate the poor girl, claiming she's a gold digga, yada yada yada and I'm the one being 'salty' when I suggest she might be unreasonable, especially when the other person who lives in her flat clearly has no problem with the neightbour ?
I feel she has a tall equine she ought to be poked off tbh.

[MDWCT2018]

Woofgang I tried in the first instance. I knocked on her door and explained that I was next door and have had significant noise and would they be a bit mindful as I work erratic shifts etc. .... she just sniggered and rolled her eyes. she is INCREDIBLY hostile from the word go ....

[Purist]

Why don't you have a word with her about the noise and why she is living in a one bed apartment then, it will stop all the assumptions and theories. As for your boyfriend not being in awe of you any more, perhaps when he experiences you moaning about this woman or other things he sees you in a different light? but then that's relationships, 8 months is a relatively short time in the scheme of things.

[Sqad]

This situation cannot go on as noise has a very deleterious effect on the body, more so than others.
It can cause anxiety, depression insomnia and other mental problems.
The effect of noise is underestimated by the vast majority of people.
You boyfriend has a right to an opposite opinion, but that is hardly the point as it is affecting the quality of your life.
This MUST be resolved......and that seems to be by you moving elsewhere.
I agree that not all children are noisy, BUT this one is, which is the whole point of the dispute.