Inappropriate People And Their Opinions On Your Weight!

[MDWCT2018]

I am healthy weight, very slim but even I get a wave. of shame and humiliation when some big mouth says 'You''ve put on weight' - sometimes I have, sometimes I haven't and when I have it is usually only a couple of pounds.When it comes to body weight I know some women are very touchy and sensitive - I am definitely one of them.
I really think it is inappropriate and personal. I feel like these comments are said as a passive form of bullying/power. A lot of times I haven't put on weight but I think even Kate Moss would get prickly if someone said it to her! It is a very touchy subject for women, I dont know if it is the same for men?


I feel like these sorts of comments should only be said by close family or friends that are saying it constructively , if indeed said at all - I am talking in this instance about acquaintances and collegues you know people in day to day interactions ... which is probably why they feel they can get away with it!

Any smart comebacks you have that I can add to my toolbox?
Or even better, any way to let these big mouths know not to even make a comment to begin with!

[Mamyalynne]

I wouldn't even waste my time thinking of sharp comebacks, they'll see it as a competition and try to up their game.

Lack of response to their jibes is best, either just say 'Ta' and change the topic or say nothing at all.

People like these are after a reaction.

I presume you are stuck with them in your life, if not - get rid.

[elliemay1]

I remember a friend of mine being amused when someone said to her,'You fit your clothes well.'
She wasn't sure if it was a compliment or an insult!

[ummmm]

I know, it's annoying but easily ignored.

[MDWCT2018]

elliemay1 LOL! another variation 'You're looking well'

[Zacs-Master]

Comebacks:
Along with the weight, I’ve gained a bit of extra brain as well. Maybe you’d want some

This is my holiday body. Eat. Sleep. Rave. Repeat. Got a problem with that?

[dannyk13]

Just reply with Oh! OK.

[The Builder]

I just wish there were some way you could adapt Winston Churchill's famous comeback to Lady Astor.

Lady Astor: You sir, are drunk.

Churchill: ... and you Madam, are ugly.... but in the morning, I shall
be sober.

;o)

[elliemay1]

'You're well mended,' is another one. Makes you wonder what you looked like the last time they saw you!

[MallyJ]

Any variation on 'bog off' or 'mind your own business' spring to mind....or 'you as well - what a coincidence' does me as retorts for those who feel the need to comment on my size.

[Old_Geezer]

You may be reading too much into what was meant as a harmless observation. Rather than look for smart comebacks in the hope of erecting barriers and causing animosity why not look for a diffusing reply such as, "Yeah, what am I like", and laughing it off. Life is more friendly, less stressful, if you train yourself not to take things to heart.

[Peter Pedant]

I always say
Good ! people with cancer dont put on weight before they die

but clearly my medical history is different to yours

[Ellipsis]

"If I had any respect for your opinion, I could be quite offended by that."

[andy-hughes]

I think the advice to say nothing is sound.

Someone who may have actually meant no offence at all could be really hurt by a sharp retort to a comment meant as simply making conversation.

The British are hopeless at small talk, which is why they blather on about the weather so much!

One of the downsides of social media, is that people's politeness filter is becoming eroded, they forget that they can spiel nonsense and be as personal as they like on Facebook and so on, but actually making remarks in public and in earshot can have consequences.

As I say, best ignored, the inoffensive will be none the wiser, and the offensive will observe their barb failing to pierce its target - result both ways.

[rowanwitch]

Smile say politely
I am sure you said that with my best interests at heart but I would prefer it if you didn't make personal remarks. It spoils the rest of our conversation.

[AuntPollyGrey]

What annoys me more is when someone says "oh you've lost weight" in a positive tone. It makes me feel as is they think I needed to and now have fulfilled their expectations.

OP: I would say " wow thanks! I've been really working hard at the gym to gain some muscle and it s nice to know I'm getting results.

[andy-hughes]

APG - // What annoys me more is when someone says "oh you've lost weight" in a positive tone. It makes me feel as is they think I needed to and now have fulfilled their expectations. //

I think that's just people being nice, and you appear to be over-thinking it.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Andy, no its people being beechy because I was on steroids for a considerable time and went from being a size 10 to an 18. I'm now off steroids and back to a size 12 but will not be defined by my weight.

[andy-hughes]

APG - // Andy, no its people being beechy because I was on steroids for a considerable time and went from being a size 10 to an 18. I'm now off steroids and back to a size 12 but will not be defined by my weight. //

I would not suggest for one moment that you should be defined by your weight.

But I do think that you are maybe misinterpreting the meaning behind the comments made.

Clearly your weight loss is considerable, and therefore noticeable, and it's accepted in western culture that an observation - usually to a woman - is intended as a compliment, rather than to infer that you are only about how much you weigh.

I doubt that people are being nasty - and I am sure you can tell if people are being so?

Either way, I would be pleased that nice people feel able to pay you a compliment, and nasty people can simply be ignored.

[emmie]

i had some joker say to me once - you dance well, for a fat bird, i didn't know what to say....

[steg]

I get the opposite, I’m pretty skinny (always have been) I eat more than most I know, my job was mostly in the hills etc so I’m quite fit as well
but I get people asking if I’ve been ill etc cause I look skinny