A Plea To Those Living Alone

[naomi24]

In the absence of a response to my texts and answerphone messages to an elderly friend who lives alone, I’ve had a bit of a worrying day wondering if she’d had an accident. In fact, I almost called the police. Thankfully she’s just called to say sorry she was gardening and didn’t see my texts or check her answerphone.

If you live alone, please keep in regular contact with someone so they know you’re okay. Just a thought.

[Canary42]

Very wise advice Naomi.

[pixie374]

That could be difficult... how many people and how should they all keep in touch?

[naomi24]

Sorry, pixie, I'm not with you?

[rowanwitch]

We have a call circle, I phone mum in the morning, she phones my elderly aunt, she phones my cousin who phones my other cousin who phones my mum who phones my sister who phones me. I then phone mum again and update her. It means only those who can cope with my mum on a long call need to call her.

[Mamyalynne]

I keep regular contact with my nearest and dearest via skype and phone.

[pixie374]

Naomi, you would need to either call all of her friends and relatives (or she would) or arrange an agreement with her that you contact each other once a day or something. I wouldn't expect a vulnerable person to be worried about reassuring others.

[naomi24]

Better one - or some - than none, pixie.

[pixie374]

Are you sure it was none? As I asked, did you check with every other friend and relative she has? Have you asked her to contact you every day?
Your worries are your problem, and you can't expect her to reassure everybody, unless you have at least agreed it with her first. It isn't her responsibility.

[naomi24]

I find your response quite bizarre, pixie. I’m trying to encourage people isolated alone to ensure that they have someone keeping an eye on them - and you’re encouraging them not to bother. That doesn't sound entirely sensible to me.

[pixie374]

I'm not at all. Please read properly. I'm saying it is not their responsibility to reassure everyone else. Arrange something with them, so they know. Or at least find out who they are keeping in touch with.

[TonyV]

We are in daily contact with Jens mum, I get any shopping she needs and leave it outside, BIL regularly gets her shopping, ours tend to be treats e.g. chocolates which she appreciates.

[naomi24]

Pixie, I am reading properly but you're not. I've simply asked people living alone to keep in regular contact with someone. That's all.

[pixie374]

You were suggesting you were worried enough nearly to call the police.... but forgot to mention either the arrangement you made with her, or how many of her friends and relatives you called to check with.
I am suggesting make an arrangement with anyone you may be worried about. Don't leave it all to them.

[iluvmargie]

Personally, I think that's a very good idea naomi.

[NickorWan]

Makes perfect sense to me. I am in constant contact with my OH, but were I not I would make sure someone knew I was OK.

Just read this morning that in the Girona region the fire brigade had to break into 33 homes in the last month where someone had died alone, which is close to twice the norm.

[naomi24]

Pixie, I didn’t expect to encounter confrontation on a post intended to be helpful... but there you are.

[pixie374]

It isn't.... just a suggestion that we make arrangements with those we are worried about, rather than leaving it to them.
We have several with dementia, and even those who don't, might not think to contact and reassure us, so we have made arrangements.

[naomi24]

Pixie, I’m assuming (perhaps mistakenly) that the people reading this don’t suffer from dementia and are not those you know. It’s just a simple message, well meant.

[pixie374]

I know it is. Just suggesting that we take the responsibility for anyone we are concerned for, and don't leave it to them x

[Maydup]

I understand you concern Naomi, but the lady concerned is clearly fit and well if she spent the day in the garden. I think it would have been worth assuming the best rather than the worse until evening time.

I ring my elderly relative regularly, but dont ask her to check in with me once a day. That what criminals have to do on the tag system.