"Dear Joe,
I want you to know that I'm not bitter. No I'm not, honestly.
It's not your fault that the Chinese invented the virus, cheating me out of my much-deserved win by making me look a fool in the eyes of the American public.
It's not your fault that the Russians cheated me out of my much-deserved win by interfering with the election.
It's not your fault that mail-in voting was allowed, cheating me out of my much-deserved win when your supporters engaged in massive election fraud.
It's not your fault that the people counting the votes were clearly inept, cheating me out of my much-deserved win by making thousands of errors.
It's not your fault that black voters were (incredibly!) led by the media to believe that I'm a racist, cheating me out of my much-deserved win.
It's not your fault that women voters were (amazingly!) led by the media to believe that I'm a misogynist, cheating me out of my much-deserved win.
It's not your fault that Hispanic voters were (astoundingly!) led by the media to believe that I'm a xenophobe, cheating me out of my much-deserved win.
It's not your fault that the media constantly reported fake news, cheating me out of my much-deserved win.
None of it is your fault - and none of it is my fault either. (Nothing's ever my fault. It can't be. As everyone knows, I'm perfect and the American people all love me). It's really all the fault of those commie-*** in the World Health Organization and their US agent, Dr Fauci; I should have sacked him months ago.
So, as I say, I'm not bitter at all.
Yours, Donald.
PS: You should receive multiple letters from my lawyers tomorrow, each of which will commence separate legal proceedings against you and your supporters"