Fatshamed Over 2 Kg By Doctor!

[MDWCT2018]

I have a long term condition that requires monitoring. I am otherwise of good health. I eat healthy, exercise, drink water etc (though like everyone in lockdown I indulged in loads of takeaways).

I am of petite build and generally have low weight of about 52kg (8.2 stones)which is very good for my height at 5 ft 4. When I went to my appointment I weighed 54 kg (8.5 stones). TBF a lot of it is water weight/ food weight and bloating from eating too much bread. However I know that weight fluctuates so I do get bothered by these changes.

the doctor however looked me straight in the eye and said 'so you have gained weight since last time' and sneered at me with contempt. He then proceeded to mention that I had gained weight every third sentence during the consultation. I literally bawled out my eyes when I came home because I felt so humiliated - over a 3-4 lb gain! I don't see why it would be in anyway a matter of medical concern, there were no changes in my blood tests or blood pressure - I feel utterly fat shamed.

Is my experience the exception or is this normal conduct by doctors and if so, how is this allowed??!! How can shaming and humiliating someone over a 3-4 lb gain help anyone.

I would appreciate any advice on how to deal with it in the future should it ever happen again.

[MDWCT2018]

Sorry typo should sayHowever I know that weight fluctuates so I dont get bothered by these changes.

[douglas9401]

The best way to deal with it is not to gain weight.

Shame comes from within btw.

[FatticusInch]

I would have responded with:
“I guess a good bedside manner isn’t taught in medical school and only develops through experience.
You’ve got a long way to go with yours”.

Or

But I can lose weight, you’ll always be considered rude.

[MDWCT2018]

I honestly do not count anything over half a stone ie 3.2 kg as gaining weight. The body fluctuates by 2-3 pounds daily anyway.

[Old_Geezer]

"I had gained weight every third sentence during the consultation". You really ought to stop eating during a conversation.

If you understand that the gain isn't that excessive and easily dealt with then you ought to try to remain philosophical about it. If this doctor's manner isn't something you can remain insensitive to then maybe it's best to move to another practice. In life there are all sorts of folk around with different ideas about how to manage a situation. This doc felt you'd respond to his disapproval and be incentivised to lose the weight before it went up further. If you are devastated by that strategy then try to put it behind you, and just accept it's not a method that you feel comfortable with.

Good luck with the weight loss.

[MDWCT2018]

Just want to point out for context even with the 2 kg gain I am 3 kg away from being underweight on the NHS BMI calculator. So I can no doubt look forward to being skinny shamed next time

[pastafreak]

You seem to know more than the Dr does about how weight can fluctuate. Even the current warm weather can cause weight gain.
You are a healthy weigh for your height so there is no reason to feel humiliated.
Ignore him.

[MDWCT2018]

what I found astounding was amongst all the judgment and condescension it is not like the doctor offered any actual medical advice or support on how to lose it which I believe is more his job than fat shaming

[MDWCT2018]

exactly pastafreak. also women fluctuate upto 1/2 stone depending on time of month. might be best to change doctors cos this one seems clueless or toxic. both of which can be dangerous in position of responsibility.

[Prudie]

I find this almost unbelievable. I'm personally aware of what 5ft4 and 8.5 stone looks like and it verges on thin. Did you not question the doctor at the time? Seems a completely unreasonable comment.

[naomi24]

I agree Prudie. Very odd.

[vulcan42]

Many years ago when I smoked my doctor told me off about it, he seemed to have forgotten the almost full ashtray on his desk.
they stopped using the Hippocratic oath a long time ago, these days it's the hypocritical oath.

[Sqad]

Doctors are only human, have their good days and their bad days, make decisions which in retrospect they wish they had handled differently.

Looking back at your profile, you are a sensitive individual and for that you clearly have personality issues (as we all have I'm sure.)

We will never hear the Dr's evaluation or replies to your criticism of the consultation.

The handling of further such consultations with the medical profession is entirely up to you.

[DTCwordfan]

Ask for the practice manager - disguise it as 'some coaching needed in chairside manners' rather than raising it as a complaint.....

[MDWCT2018]

yes its def thin Prudie. I always have to have clothes taken in and it much easier to buy clothes in the teens section. Cheaper too!

[barry1010]

Like you I have been obese and lost a lot of weight for health reasons.
I have also had to put up with a lot of remarks from people about my weight; one health professional asked me what I was going to do about all my excess skin and was shocked when I told her I am going to live with it.
I know I am a healthy weight, I know my diet is healthy and well-balanced. I don’t give two hoots about other peoples thoughtless comments but I would have told the doctor exactly where I was on the BMI and that I would be underweight if I lost a few pounds.

It’s easy to say take no notice but you should try not to let these things get to you.
Change your GP if necessary.

[Boto]

An insensitive doctor but not worth bawling your eyes out or feeling ashamed. Try and forget it.

[TheChair]

I think you're being oversensitive. He mentioned you have gained weight. That's part of his job - why else would he weigh you? I find it difficult to believe that he "sneered at you with contempt".

[MDWCT2018]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/10/obese-patients-weight-shamed-doctors-nurses
This link in todays guardian is uncanny! and I am nowhere near overweight nevermind obese

[Mozz71]

I would've sat on him. Then again, I'm slightly over 8 and a smidge stone. ;-)