How Can I Tell My Neighbour About This Without Being Accusatory?

[bluefortress]

I have a family of 3 living next door to me (mother, father and infant son). It is a new build estate we all moved onto at relatively the same time. The father often goes outside to smoke through the day but he doesn’t smoke near his front door he will walk around near my path/drive. I am often smelling cig smoke when I walk out my front door for work, but it is not really this that bothers me.

For the past 3 years I have been finding used cigs on my path where he flicks the stumps. I questioned him on it once when I was cleaning my path I said ‘have you seen anyone hanging about/smoking round here’ and he was a bit stuttery, pointed to the other side of the estate and said he would keep an eye out.

However I am still finding the cigs

It is obvious that it is him


There are other issues too like his wife keeps using my bin (in fact when I moved in and my new bin arrived she used it before me without permission lol). Then when I was putting my bin out at 9pm once she came out telling me could I be quiet as it was waking her baby up. That’s another topic though.

I am probably better messaging his wife about the cigs as she seems a bit more intelligent than him. How would you word the message so that it doesn’t sound accusatory?

[bluefortress]

‘Smokers are biologically incapable of using a bin’

Tora could agree more with this. Haven’t heard anything as true in a while. How difficult is it? If you are going to be smoking 3x per day outside your home why is it hard to buy a bucket or something.

Maybe a smoker can answer.. I’m curious.

I mentioned the situation to my colleague and he said to buy him an ash tray. Why me??

[Barmaid]

I think generalising is uphelpful. I consider a butt to be litter just like anything else and I would not discard anywhere other than a bin.

[douglas9401]

Why not join him one day, tap a fag and when half smoked flick it into his garden and take it from there.