'Abuse' What Does It Mean To You?

[Khandro]

In no way do I wish to condone the Archbishop's silence, but I was amazed tonight listening to the man who had instigated his downfall, being introduced as someone (forgot his name) who, as a child had been 'abused'.

Images of dreadful acts being being perpetrated on him of a sexual nature when he was a child sprang to my mind.

However, after listening to his suffering for 5 minutes he related how he was 'beaten', he said he was now 60ish.

As a child at Manchester Central Grammar School I was 'beaten' like all the other little swines quite often - deservedly so, and think nothing of it.

When we young rogues and reprobates were in need of chastisement we were sent to the study of the Headmaster, - (a Dr de la Perrelle) and were caned on the ***, (we used to stick blotting paper down our trousers before entering the room).

I think nothing of it, though this current episode has now reminded me. We were also 'strapped' frequently on the palms of our hands with a leather strap which I can still see, bearing the initials M.E.C. (Manchester Education Committee).

Later, rules came in that corporal punishment was  forbidden, something though which went back through Dickens' Victorian England & way further - even to Buddhist Zen Masters slapping the faces of their grateful novices.

I'm not condoning it, but was I 'abused' and was ignoring such abuse worthy of bringing down the Archbishop of Canterbury ?                        

 

 

 

 

[Atheist]

Khandro. I think there was more to it than you seem to think.

[Canary42]

I too was beaten at school, but no reaon for me to condone it now, quite the opposite in fact.

[jourdain2]

Well, if you were'abused' then so was OH, Khandro.

He was at Pangbourne in the mid/late 1940s.  Then a boys boarding school for the sons of Naval gentlemen.

He and another lad were passing the Hall after a reception of some kind for posh guests and (being 14) were tempted by left-over cakes and cream-buns. They shot in, shoved some in their mouths, trousered a couple - and turned to find the head housekeeper glaring at them!

Result - next morning at assembly.  Called on stage with Headmaster brandishing a cane.  They had to drop their trousers, put their bottoms towards the assembly and receive 6 of the best on said naked areas. They then had to do themselves up (had to be tearless)  and thank the Head for the lesson they had learned!

No, not abuse. Normal discipline in those days. 

Pointless putting modern ideas on old practices. OH bears no grudges and says he deserved it and learned a valuable lesson.

[Atheist]

The abuse was allegedly sexual abuse; the beatings were possibly asociated with sexual abuse. I got the strap from Christian Brothers, but nothing like what has been alleged in regard to Smyth.

[THECORBYLOON]

This is a link to the full report.

https://www.churchofengland.org/sites/default/files/2024-11/independent-learning-lessons-review-john-smyth-qc-november-2024.pdf

 

[david small]

I too was caned, plimsole beaten on bare backside, hands caned till swollen and unusable. Punched by teacher, dragged and humiliated. Par for the course, and no remorse.

[Atheist]

There seems to be a lack of understanding here about what was going on. What would be the response if the accused was a Muslim immigrant in Rochdale?

[david small]

Allah would not be happy.

[tomus42]

I was beaten soundly on the behind many times by a good Christian man. Never did me any harm.

Seems to be what K is saying 

Hmmm. I'm not so sure mate.

[Henry1865]

Five of us were given 'six of the best' around 1950 and it is still a painful memory. It was swift, justifiable and effective. 

[tomus42]

Six of the best in 1950 and still a painful memory.

Chuffing eck.

[Barsel]

Was this only carried out on boys? I went to an all-girls school, and although some did get the ruler on the palms of their hands, there was no spanking on the bottom and I don't think the ruler was ever used to excess. 

[Untitled]

whenever someone says "it never did me any harm" i often think to myself "oh yes it did"

[Khandro]

I think if 'abuse' can mean anything from a smack on the hand with a ruler to child molestation and sexual penetration then we are in bad need of some definitions of order of magnitude, so we know of what we speak.

Similarly the word 'rape' which seemed to once mean physical attack upon a woman leading to penetration, but it seems now to include the touching of a bottom - or even a knee.

All other criminal acts are clearly defined and identifiable, but these terms have become far too vague, it seems to me.

[DDIL]

//Similarly the word 'rape' which seemed to once mean physical attack upon a woman leading to penetration, but it seems now to include the touching of a bottom - or even a knee.//

Sorry, but where has that ever happened?

 

[barry1010]

Rape is clearly defined in the statute, that has not been watered down.

https://www.police.uk/ro/report/rsa/alpha-v1/advice/rape-sexual-assault-and-other-sexual-offences/what-are-rape-sexual-assault/

[naomi24]

'Abuse' towards other people is defined as 'treat with cruelty or violence especially regularly or repeatedly'.  

I don't agree with the 'especially regularly or repeatedly' - once is still abuse.  
 

'Abuse' can be physical or mental but I think 'cruelty' is the operative word.  If people intentionally cause harm to another in any way, that is abuse.

[Barsel]

DDIL This actor hasn't worked as an actor since this happened. I believe he touched a girl's bottom in a nightclub.

In October 2017, a spokesman for the show confirmed that Langley's Coronation Street contract had been terminated. Greater Manchester Police later announced he had been charged with two counts of sexual assault, to both of which he pleaded guilty on 28 November 2017; he was sentenced to a 12-month community order.

[DDIL]

Barsel, but that has not been defined as rape as the OP claimed.

[Khandro]

I stand corrected over the word 'rape'. I've looked at other dictionaries and they all allude to sexual penetration.        Though I still struggle with idea that touching someone is sexual assault, I guess it all comes down to intention.