Suspicions

[seashells]

What do you do if you have suspicions that your husband has slept with other women while you have been married, but you have no proof, just a feeling.

[Loosehead]

If you nothing more than a "feeling" I would say it's better to do nothing than to risk a bust up on a hunch. Why have you got the feeling? Strange behaviour? Changed routine? Suddenly going out to play "squash" regularly?

[lady_p_gold]

Well the problem is, one your are suspicious you can turn into a detective, checking e mails, checking his phone when he is in the shower, looking at receipts in his pocket etc. and that is a horrible horrible way to live and even if you confront him with something it might be perfectly innocent and then he will know. All of us have times of the day when we can 'disappear' and if someone really wants to have something going on then I suppose they usually can. So all you can do is just keep your suspicions to yourself I suppose, but that is not easy. I am sure men and women have slept with other people and then had a perfectly happy marriage for many years with the other one not knowing, and then sometimes it can turn into something stronger and ruin the marriage. This is a dilemma we all face and I think in the end all you can do is trust and just hope that it is well founded, otherwise you will turn into a worried wreck. Having said that if he had a real change of behaviour or started acting very strangely, which usually happens if it is a real affair, then of course it might be time to challenge him. I would say that the one thing that always happens if there is anything funny going on is that there is a hung up phone call or someone staying up late on the computer. But in the end you have to think of your own peace of mind, so I hope your suspicions are unfounded and that they will pass.

[seashells]

Nothing like strange behaviour, or changed routine, I just have it in my head that he is a bit dodgy. Which sounds bizarre since I married him. But I only started thinking that about a yr ago. I dont want to feel suspicious, but now that I am I don't know how to stop feeling like this.

[sarah_louise]

If you really want to know, when he is least expecting it you just say "Are you having an affair ?"

If you have known him long enough you will know by his response.

[Drusilla]

You could try the scientific solution and read the information in the attached site. Whether knowledge will make you feel better is another matter. Personally, I agree with Sarah Louise, and suggest you ask.

http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php

[Drusilla]

Sorry, should have added, scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the eye movement and lying section.

[gilby]

I had this 'feeling' a while ago and one night when he came in from the pub and went to sleep i had a look at his phone messages.......wrong i know. I felt awful doing it but all the proof was there. his phone was full of messages to/from one of my 'friends'. we have since split and he has realised what he has lost!!!

[Altosruleok]

Frankly, I wouldn't want to know. He he was still the same husband I'd known and loved, if his love for me still seemed sure, if his behaviour towards me hadn't changed, if he wasn't away all the time, or using up all our money on someone else . . . then I'd just stick my head firmly in the sand and get on with life.