ChatterBank0 min ago
Breaking point
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Reading your post was like i had written it, i split from my partner 2 weeks ago although it has been rocky for a little while now.
last week i only got through it due to pure anger, then at the weekend i sobbed myself to sleep, it is really tough, and im just taking one day at a time, i miss him dreadfully, but he was not the niciest of boyfs anyway, but like scarlett says, i feel like i am grieving.
Talking to my friends and keeping myself busy has helped, but its still hard, everyone keeps saying be strong, and i am normally strong, but my whole life has fell around me.
i wish i had answers to help you, but hopefully knowing your not alone might help!
I wish I could just give you a big cuddle and tell you it will be alright.There is NO quick fix - you have to ride out your emotions.If you feel a good nights sleep would stop the exhaustion at least - try Nytol - but its like everthing else it becomes less effective if you use it too frequently.Now is the time to rely on your pals - it does take your mind off it for a while-and you would do the same for them.I lost stones and I'm not big in weeks when I split with my ex.Try to force even some soup down you - you cannot function if you are not sleeping or eating - its a form of torture.
Last piece of advice - please give yourself some breathing space and dont set yourself up for another slap in the face by getting involved too quickly with someone else.
Let us know how you are doing in a couple of weeksxxx
You will get through this, it doesn't seem like it at the moment but trust me, you will!! As has been advised go see your GP and ask for counselling or phone the samaritans or some other helpline, talking about it will help lots!
You may not feel up to it but you need to get out and about even going for a half hour walk will help!
The saying 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' is true as is the saying 'time heals'
Take every hour as it comes and just grieve slowly. I wish you lots of happiness!
Pootle, sorry to hear about your misfortune. There is some sound advice given there, the one thing I'd like to add is, definitely don't go down the drug avenue. Have you heard of NLP, it stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming (you can google it). But it's all to do with how you can train your brain to think, how to turn the good things in your life into major positives to focus on. The flip side is it also teaches you how to turn the negative things that are going on "down", so that you don't focus on them.
Good luck
try some Kalms - they are great
and also get some rescue remedy from the chemist - a few drops on the tongue and it will make you feel better - about �3-4 a bottle. this is good for shock, fear, and worry - people use it for flying, test nerves, shock etc.
lavendar essential oil may calm you a bit too.
and at night, if the thoughts keep you awake, listen to comedy cds on a loop so that you don't just lie there brooding. standup or episodes of sitcoms are best rather than books as you can easily lose track of the story and you don't want to get too absorbed that it will keep you awake. the library will have some to try out
meant to say kalms are herbal and from the chemist
longer term you could also try a herbal remedy called 'connect' from 'higher nature'
and also try herbal antidepressants such as 5HTP and st johns wort
available from health food shops like holland and barratt
for immediate relief though the rescue remedy and kalms are best.
Pootle - I know this is probably not what you want to hear just now but bear with me.
We all go through the rose tinted spectacles phase when there is a break-up-just remembering the good times.If you were honest with yourself even in a couple of weeks - the cracks were there but as you are in a state of shock at the moment you are in denial.Your ex will be finding this extremely painful as well - after all she has now chosen a different path and to say what she said must have been hard.She will still love you but not in the way she wants to remain with you for the rest of HER life.
Get a decent sleep and stop torturing yourself and as for the house - added stress but its only bricks and mortar.I had to move myself and my 2 young kids from a detached house with the Audi big garden in the snobbiest area in town and it broke my heart until mum and I were cleaning the empty shell and guess what- it wasnt my home.This is my home - my lovely cottage-full of all my personal knick-knacks with friends and family and neighbours calling round.Chin-up x
Endings like this are always painful, and I do feel for you, especially when you have other pressures to contend with at the same time. However, sometimes the only way to deal with the grieving aspect or any loss or bereacement is to work your way through it, however painful it seems at the time. Just trying to ignore it will only cause you problems later and a good cry in private may be therapeutic.. Just tell youself every morning when you get up that you are 24 hours further away from the original cause of your grief and that things will get better. Progress is made is such little steps, not the big hikes. When you feel really stressed, just deal with immediacies of the next hour and let longer time scales like 24 hours take their course.
Sleeping pills and other drugs are only chemical escape mechanisms, although if you're really desperate through lack of sleep, talk to your GP. Otherwise, try to find time for some gentle regular exercise which is a more natural antitidote to depression. Concentrate on a few good things which still exist in your life, and slowly, even without noticing it, you may suddenly wake up one morning and find that the worst of the pain has faded away.
Mate I feel for you I really do,
i was in the same situation two years ago, what you are going through so many people have done exactly the same, but I know it does not help to hear this.
You have to keep active, stimuate your mind, please dont look to drugs (prescribed or not) or alcohol to help numb the pain as it can become your emotional crutch. I know I have been there. Try and see a councilor and talk through what your experiencing it may hurt but it stops it being bottled up inside your head where you tend to visit when your on your own or feeling bad about things. Your face can tell a million lies but your head can only tell you the truth. At this moment in time you probably feel your in some dark hole from which there is no way out but it does get better mate given time it does get better