Finding out the sex of baby!

[stressed out]

I'm 16 weeks pregnant with my second child,( i have a son) and had a scan at 12 weeks where the woman told me that to her it looked like a boy but it could have been the cord and it was too early to know!... My next scan is in mid september when i will be 22 weeks but i can't wait this long! lol.. I really want a girl this time and i think i will be dissapointed, but don't want to feel this way, if it is'nt. Is this normal to feel? Believe me i would be blessed with a baby either way but maybe i am being selfish...

x

[havinmysay]

when i was pregnant i wanted a girl but i had a feeling i were havin a boy when they confirmed this i felt a little dissapointed but then realised i were been silly and should be happy for the rest of my pregnancy i couldnt wait to meet my son and what a little bundle of joy he is.i dont think your been slfish its everyones dream to have babies of each sex.

[boobesque]

Its a perfectly normal thought hun, but be careful who you say it to, i have very bad problems with carrying babies and a 'friend' of mine complained about carrying a girl cos she wanted a boy and said she wanted to terminate! Obviously for me that was distressing, but many people do want a particular sex and get used to the idea of what they are having.
I didnt find out with this one til i was 21 weeks as here you only get a dating scan and anomoly scan (i had extra due to my probs) but you can get a private scan done when you are a little further on and dont want to wait til you are 22 weeks, they cost about �50 for a regular 2d scan but even then the recommendation is to wait until 19/20 weeks, and there are no gauratees! My son was very shy and kept his legs crossed, i only found out his sex when i had to go back two weeks later as they couldnt scan him all!

[crete]

there are few real surprises left in life now , not knowing the sex of a baby until it is born is the best one, a healthy baby is a blessing

[total novice]

I have 3 boys. I understand how you feel when i found out my last baby was a boy after a c section my heart sank but all of them feelings went away as soon as i set my eyes on him. I now have two step sons we are as happy as ever. You aint being selfish its just what people expect you know the little boy and girl, nice house and white picket fence its drilled into us as kids the complete family.

I wish you well. You wont be disappointed you will love the baby to your hearts content whatever the sex.

[Pippa68]

If you really feel this way, the maybe the best thing to do would be not to know until the baby is born ~ that way you will just be relieved all went well & you have a baby at the end of your labour.

I can't understand people 'wanting' a certain gender. Neither of us thought about it, we just hoped the baby would be healthy & the birth straightforward. I have had complications in all 4 pregnancies & in 1 birth..gender of the baby never came into the equation for me.

Mr Pippa doesn't have a biological son. He has a stepson, which he feels is enough ~ but people are always asking him if we should 'try again' for a boy as we 'only' have 2 daughters. This upsets us as it implies that our daughters were the 'wrong' gender.

Good luck in what you decide to do :o)

[Loosehead]

I agree with others above, wait until it's born. What are you going to do if you find out it's the wrong sex? Start resenting him before he's even born?

[Loosehead]

Boobesque, I am shocked that there are people who would consider murdering their child because it's the wrong sex. The gift of fertilty is surely wasted on people like that.

[boobesque]

i know, she was an awful mum anyway, she didnt use baby wipes when she changed the pooey nappies! Wiped with the nappy and put another one on!

[Jenarry]

i don't think your selfish. we all basically want a healthy baby of either sex but it doesn't mean that you won't have a little bit of you that has a preference.i was having my 1st child but so wanted a little girl but just knew it was going to be a boy. in my area the nhs won't tell u the sex so i had a private scan at 30wks because i couldn't wait any longer and yes baby was a boy. tiny bit disappointed but then i just couldn't wait to see him. and when i did it was love at 1st sight .i think it's the not knowing and the waiting that's worse.i think if you find out either way you'll feel much happier.

[stressed out]

Thank you guys, you all sound so lovely! x
Boobesque, i can't believe about your friend that's evil! I personally disagree strongly with abortions as in my eyes it's murder! Sorry if it sounds harsh but it is a very complex and taboo subject and i'm sure in one country or another i'd be stoned to death for saying such a thing! But everyone has a right to feel a certain way about something...

Anyways, back to the subject, I can't say how i will feel when i find out but i know i will love him/her as much as i have love inside me, (and thats alot! lol).
It won't be quite picket fence as i am alone and will have to raise 2 alone as their father is a no good a**ehole and was cheating with his ex behind my back and was a violent, controlling and disrespectful man!!

I know i will be better off without him and have 2 little monsters to care and stress over for the rest of my days! lol!

I will keep you all posted when i find out and then you can help me with names!!. xx

[hol5]

i never wanted a boy, just lots of girly girls.... i was so so so lucky to get her first, then went on to have a boy and quite frankly after his birth sighed deeply when told it was a him. then after a while i was completely amazed at how nice boys actually are, he was so nice i went on to number 3 which again was a boy and they get on SO well that i sometimes feel that i cannot penetrate that brother bond, Its unreal. If it does turn out to be a boy prepare to be amazed, they interact so differently to each other, granted sometimes they are a law unto themsleves but it is still so worth it.

and just to reiterate what has been said previous, its absolutely normal to feel this way, yes its easy for me to say but i beleive if i had had three boys i would be as happy as a am now, i did'nt know that 8 years ago but i really do now.

children whatever the gender are what gets you through the day, with or without a partner they are YOUR life, your future. The child in your stomach right now, its hope is just so beyond our feelings towards its gender.

good luck xx

[mimififi]

I have 5 children, 4 girls and 1 boy. I was really worried when I knew he was a boy (he is no. 2) I found out accidentally as they kept referring to him as him after an amnio that I had to have. I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do with a boy and being pregnant and stoopid it got out of all proportion.

Anyways, I have now a special relationship with all my children in different ways, but I have to say, with my boy, well, it is the classic mother/son relationship. He reminds me of all the best bits of my husband and when my husband is away (which is pretty frequently) he tries to care for all us girls. he is only 8 but already sees himself as a carer/provider. He mends things, constantly problem solves in a way the girls just dont and is a real calming influence on the house of a million girls. He is SO different and has a very funny SOH. I am so glad God blessed me with a son now.

I hope it all goes well for you. Having a son (and a daughter of course) is just the best thing in the world and Im so lucky that i get to stay at home and be mum to such a wonderful situation. Whatever you have, there will be great times and wonderful things to find out about each other everdya and you will have a blast.

lots of love
mimi
X

[mimififi]

sorry, you already knew that about boys as you are already a mum to a son....sorry about that. I didn't read the question properly...I am in fact also stoopid!

*blush*

[boobesque]

my son is a complete mummys boy, this one will have her daddy wrapped around her finger, i can see it now!
I must admit that although i am pleased i was having a girl with this one, i did wonder if i will love her differently as me and my son have such an incredible bond, but i am sure i will be fine, as you will if you have another little boy!

[kitchenmares]

crete said it in a nut shell!