Gay and bisexual rights

[leelapops]

Following on from reachesme's post, I noticed on page 3 that the 2 "bisexual" p.3 girls had "split up" because one of them (Keeley, Kylie, Mel, Becki, whatever) had "found a lucky fella". What a pile of s**t, portraying bisexuality as some kind of promiscuous phase, whereby you spend some time experimenting with the same sex for entirely sexual purposes, before settling down into an acceptable heterosexual relationship.
This "behaviour" is really only acceptable when women engage in it, and only because it's a turn-on, or fantasy material. When will bisexuality be recognised as a genuine sexul orientation, and not simply as "greed", or a phase, or a fantasy act-out. This complete failure to grasp bisexuality makes me despair.
To suggest that women can only be truly happy when attached to a man is a tragically misinformed viewpoint, and at the risk of sounding like the SCUM manifesto, it really moves things back to the dark ages.

[reachesme]

Well i for one don't care which bus you are on.

[ruby27]

Excellent point you make leelapops.

[leelapops]

It's not a question of minding who likes who, it just maddens me that people still think like women are objects to give pleasure, or that bisexuality can't be a sexual orientation in its own right.
I despair!

[leelapops]

Thanks, ruby :)

[leelapops]

There is a lot of bi-phobia from some members of the gay community-as if sexual orientation hasn't been an issue for them. It's sad that people who have experienced prejudice are still so prejudicial.

[jackthehat]

My last girl-friend was bi-sexual..........and yes, it really did mean that I had to keep an eye on everyone in the room when we went to a party. She was utterly faithless in all her relationships before me, during ours and after .............pinging backwards and forwards 'over the fence' whenever the fancy took...........
This is the reason we find it a bit of a cop-out to claim to be bi...after us 'proper' gays have struggled so long and so hard to nail our colours to the mast and have them properly respected along come a troop of folks waving me too placards; but these folks are only visible for 50% of the time, the remainder of the time they give all the appearance of being hetero-sexual.

[jno]

jack, you shouldn't have to keep your eye on anyone else at a party; your girl's problem was infidelity rather than sexuality. Don't blame her for being bisexual, blame her for being a trollop.

[leelapops]

jackthehat, I inderstand that it must have hurt to experience that, but as jno said, that isn't a characteristic of bisexuality, it's an individual negative character trait.

I may be in a heterosexual relationship, but I don't hide my sexulity, and I firmly believe that you fall in love with a person, not a gender. Bisexuals have to fight just as hard for equality and inclusion-don't make yourself out to be the martyr, jackthehat, prejudice is prejudice no matter how you see it.

[joko]

greedy...?

what a strange way to look at it.

its no one elses business what others orientation is and assuming they are not hurting any one, what is wrong with indulging?

why do so many involve themselves in others relationships and lifestyles?

[jackthehat]

I'm no sodding martyr !
Yes, my ex- was a trollop but there were many (mainly straight) who were quite happy to accept her 'it's because I'm bi-sexual' line.
If she had had a series of linear relationships, boy-girl-girl-girl-boy, etc. that would have been one thing, but to s**g men whilst she was with women, or vice versa because she was bi-sexual and ' couldn't help who she fancied'......!?! does the bi-sexual cause no good, at all.

Yes, of course, it is possible to fall in love with a person of either gender regardless of your own........but if you are proposing to be in a monogamous relationship, then that relationship will be, by definition, gay or straight. If on leaving that relationship you are receptive to establishing a new relationship with the person who attracts you most (of either gender) then you are bi-sexual. If you go out at nights to pick-up/get picked-up and you don't mind what the trouser contents of your amour/euse then you are probably sexually ambivalent and will settle down with age to be either gay or straight.

I know very few bi-sexuals, now. They eventually found someone with whom to be exclusively gay or exclusively straight. Even the footloose and fancy-free have eventually settled for grazing on one side of the fence.

I'm sorry that my actual, factual experience (and I'm by no means alone on this) and subsequent well-informed opinion doesn't tally with your wishful views.........

.....but hey-ho !

[leelapops]

wishful, no jack-the-hat, don't tar us all with the same brush please, you have your experience and I have mine, so my ideology is of course based on those experiences.

[joko]

quite simply jack, its easier for you to blame her bisexuality for her behaviour rather than accept that you were not very important to her.

she clearly care little for you and would have done the same thing regardless of her 'duality'.


some people claim that cheating on their partner with someone of the same sex as themeselves ''doesn't count'' as they are different - this is just an excuse to say, ''i am not committed to you, but i like you and i want to see you, but i want to convince you that what i am doing is acceptable''

the bottom line is - you are not ''the one''

[jackthehat]

Oh, for crying out loud !

How very perspicacious of you, Joko......She obviously wasn't 'my' one and I obviously wasn't 'her' one. Although we were magnificent between the sheets........*sigh*
My point was that her excuse for her bad behaviour was quite readily offered and accepted as being her 'bi-sexuality'.

I would say vocally identifying as 'Bi' whilst happily esconsed in a hetero relationship always smacks of 'bet-hedging'; half an eye on the next relationship. Surely the time to remark ones bisexuality is when one is once more on the market for a relationship ?

[jno]

Jack, I don't suppose there's any such thing as a bisexual relationship between two people (at least my sadly limited imagination can't conjure it up). But that doesn't mean there aren't bisexual people. If they settle down with one person it will have to be one or the other, but it doesn't necessarily change their nature, and I don't think they should be obliged to announce 'I used to be bi but now I'm gay/straight'. If asked, they'll just have to decide whether to tell the truth or tell a white lie to keep their current partner happy. I'm sorry you got stung, but it sounds as if it was because she was Ms Wrong, not because she was Ms Bi.

[jackthehat]

Leesten vury cairfullee, I shall say thees only wurnce........

Yes, my ex (who I only served up as illustration and am beginning to regret doing so.....) was a bad 'un. I believe she continues to be so.............many years later on. However, she used 'advanced disclosure and knowledge' of her nature to excuse her behaviour and this absolution came via the well-known fact that bi-sexuals are voracious and unable to control their appetities.
BUT if you are a switch-hitter you are capable of forming relationships with persons of either sex, agreed ?
Having decided on your person of choice, I believe it is desirable to be honest in giving details of your sexual history....the fact that this includes girls and boys is neither here nor there...........but the casual announcement to others 'outside' the relationship of one's bi-sexuality smacks, at the very least, of inconsideration to ones present partner. By all means, at the end of the relationship, start cruising for anyone you like.
Bi-sexuality is only the choosing of a partner. Living in that relationship afterwards is either having a straight relationship or having a gay relationship.

[WaldoMcFroog]

Sexuality doesn't end once you choose to settle down with a partner, though. Just because you've made your choice, it doesn't mean you lose the capacity to find people attractive, so surely a bi-sexual person would continue to find both men and women attractive?

[jackthehat]

Of course they would. But surely the point is moot as the 'practise' of being bi-sexual only matters in the choosing of a partner.
Heterosexuals choose the opposite gender.
Homosexuals choose the same gender.
Bi-sexuals are at liberty to choose either gender. Once the choice is made, I believe (within the confines of a monogamous relationship) that sexuality ceases to be an issue as both parties are aware of the situation. I don't suppose you keep on nudging Mrs Waldo in the ribs to re-iterate your heterosexuality, do you ?

[leelapops]

Or indeed, a moo point...a cow's opinion...lol...

jackthehat, while I see the point you are making, I think it's still a relatively narrow definition; of course, if you (or "one")want/s to label it you are in a particularly-defined relationship. If it is an "open" relationship (which I personally believe to be a lousy excuse to sh*g about), then you could well remain "bisexual" in your choices. Of course, all these labels are really just a way of justifying and explaining things in today's society, and are borne from society's need to place everything in boxes.

Waldo, exactly.

[WaldoMcFroog]

I suppose that depends. I wouldn't ever feel the need to say, 'Hey darling, did you know I'm straight' but on the other hand, I know that I've expressed views on the attractiveness of x or y before that have much the same effect, even if that's not the purpose. As does her list of '5 she would'!

Don't get me wrong, I agree with your notion that the mere having of a given sexuality doesn't give one any credible excuse for being unfaithful (it would be like arguing, 'Yeah, but I always liked big and small breasts, so because you're just a A-cup, I can go and do a page three model') just not that one's sexuality stops being an issue after one chooses a partner.