First date etiquette - should a man pay for dinner??

[oceanauk]

I am curious as to what people think in general - I know it will vary from one person to another or perhaps I'm just old fashioned!!! I went on a first date yesterday - meeting a guy I'd known online for about a month. I had to travel 2hrs on a train to London which was quite expensive. It was a mutually agreed date although he knows I'm a single Mum with limited income. When it came to dinner - he just waved his half of the money at me and I thought well guess I'll be paying for mine then!!! I would not have minded paying for mine - but he didn't even offer. Is this selfish? Or should a man at least offer to pay? I ended up putting more money down as he didn't have any left for a tip!!! I put another fiver down!! I hate to get so petty about things but - I do feel frustrated sometimes when I know men earn more than women and I really do struggle to make ends meet. I am only able to work part time and it was a very expensive day for me yesterday. I would welcome views from everyone but especially men and how they feel about this?? Thank you.

[Pippa68]

I think I agree with the Rev!

We don't know what outgoings this guy has. When I first went out with Mr P he insisted on paying for everything, even though I knew he didn't have much money due to his divorce and maintenance costs. I bought him drinks, he bought me drinks too ~ and he paid to get into the club we went to.

In the past I have always juggled it this way. When the guy has money he pays and vice versa. I don't think it is fair that a guy is expected to pay for a woman all his life.

[naomi24]

Rev, regardless of the equality issue, she had travelled for two hours to meet him so the very least he should have done was pay for dinner - and leave the waiter a tip. He's not much of a man in my opinion, and I'm sure she can find someone who'll appreciate her a bit more than that.

[Reverandfunk]

Did he twist her arm to travel??? lol

[lovenut]

Find a nice bloke closer to home, by the sound of it he has no manners!

[oceanauk]

I like Ludwig's advice!! - and a very balanced view too!! We'll see - I have not decided about a second date yet even though we are still in contact.

[REDHEAD24]

dont do it

walk away

leave the cheap rat and his nites at the b and b well behind

sex with strangers ( exspecially cheap strangers ) is not a good thing

lmao , mate tell us you have not contacted this cheap skate again ????? lol

[naomi24]

Rev, no, I don't expect he twisted her arm to travel, but I do think it was very good of her to agree to do that. Incidentally, as for equality, personally I don't want the sort of equality some seek. As you said, women want it all ways - and you're right to a degree - but not all women want it all ways. In my opinion,all those bra-burners have done some of us no favours at all. Fair enough, equal pay for equal jobs, but let those who want to dig roads, carry bricks and do a 'man's job' out in all weathers do it because that doesn't seem very clever to me. I'll stick to so-called inequality, and I'll continue to enjoy behaving as a lady, being treated as a lady, and having doors opened for me. That'll do for me. :o)

[Mr k]

I would of paid for the meal and seeing you travelled 2 hours to see him its the least he could of done..
Id think twice about going back on a second date ask him to come and see you ?
If he doesn't well i would just stay internet mates....

[hjkj]

If she took a 2 hour train ride to meet a guy on the internet who presumably lives 2 hours further beyond that then she doesn't manage her 'limited income' carefully, and both of them should be looking for other people closer to where they live. I'm sure she had no intention of making that journey regularly....

It isn't fact that most men make more than most women.... unless you're the highest in your field then that's absolute nonsense.... Face facts oceanauk, you're a gold digger.