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Starting a religion......

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R1Geezer | 16:41 Thu 22nd May 2008 | Society & Culture
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How do I go about starting the "Church of the wisdom of latter day Geezer"? I mean look at that Hubbard bloke, started a religion as a laugh whilst pi55ed one night and ended up with Tom Cruise on board. Would I get free prescriptions?
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I'll be known to my followers as the Dalai Geezer.
Easy my great great great great great great great great..... grandad, wrote a book one day about himself where he had special powers and called himself jesus
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Geezus surely!
and have teh same clause in the contract rastas have regarding ganja smoking
Will there be any licentious revelry involved? If so, I might sign up.
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yes octavius it's compulsory in fact
What are your versions of the 10 commandments then?

Come on, convert me. :]
(mutters)
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!""
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The Ten Geezer Commandments:
1. Thou shalt not go into a pub and drink soft drinks.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of Dalai Geezer in vain.
3. Thou shalt acheive enlightenment on Friday night by the usage of Stella.
...... more later
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4. Thou shalt transport thyself on 2 wheels under power, do not be tempted by the allure of the slow moving box.
5. Thou shalt follow the holy scripture of the daily sport.
6. Thou shalt not dabble in the dark arts of the evil Guardian.

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7. Thou shalt take sustenance from the holy Kebab shop only after sunset and several imbibations of the devine Stella.
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8. Thou shalt worship the female form at the temple of the peppermint Hippo.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours Bike or his Xbox or his totty.
10. Thou shalt not be tempted to the pleasures of the flesh unless first having administered the holy diamond white.
I�d forgotten about Mickey The Monkey !
11. Thou shalt not worship false prophets
12. Thou shalt not exceed the speed limit astride thy Kawasaki
Can I be in charge of the collection plate please?
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Good morning R1Geezer.

This sounds like a fab religion. What's the punishment for breaking the Ten Commandments, because:

6. I can't give up my Guardian ... what's the alternative? The Times? The Torygraph?

8. Can I worship the male form down on Brighton beach instead ... although, a couple of my girlfriends crashed over last night, and they are looking quite nice wandering around my flat in their pants this morning (I hope they don't read this over my shoulder!!).

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