Do we choose to live insular lives...

[firetracie]

or is it just the way of our society today? How many of you know your neighbours? Not just the people who live next door but others who live on the same street? I've been wondering about this since I watched the Channel 4 Cutting Edge documentary 'My Street'. As a kid I remember we knew most of the people in my street. Some my Mum and Dad talked to some were just a 'nod' of acknowledgement but we sort of 'knew' who lived where. Is it the internet? Is it because we don't let our kids out to play on the street anymore so it's now just a thoroughfare? Or is it because we no longer have / use local shops, post offices and other amenities?
There'll always be the 'neighbours from hell' that you wouldn't want to know but, generally, would you prefer to live in a 'community'?

[Octavius]

Me too China, I also found the friendliness to be a bit freaky deaky as I have said to you before, I was wondering whether we had moved into Stepford!

[puddicat]

Too some degree i am insular,this is the longest i have stayed in one place, but if the chance tomorrow to move i would with no looking back!,i say hello to the chap across the road who had a stroke, use his bin if mine is overloaded,and give him some homebaking, and my other neighbour doesnt speak,but get on great with my other neighbour,try to say good morning on the way to work,most people will say morning back,sadly as said already i am insular because people dont want to mix anymore!!!

[123everton]

I live in a community in a city, I know lots of my neighbours and we stop and chat often.
I like it, although it can be a pain in the ar5e sometimes!

[Oneeyedvic]

I live in a small town (Great Yarmouth) and I find that it has a mentality similar to a big village. I know most of my neighbours.

I used to live in Northampton but was brought up in Bedford.

One thing that has not been mentioned (although I may have missed it as have skimmed the answers) is crime levels.

Great Yarmouth (despite the locals perception) has a very low crime level and I assume that villages are similar.

Bigger towns / cities tend to be more unfriendly, and I think that this may have to do with the fear of crime - which is ironic since the more 'friends' you have, the more likely you are to feel secure.

[shaneystar2]

Lol OEV ..you and I must get together ..it's only a bus ride over the bridge ,that is presuming it's down and not up which it is most of the time at the moment for the holiday makers on their cabin cruisers :)
You are so right ,it's not a bad place to live. In spite of the flooding ..Haha ....I think the injection of government money has made a vast improvement . But I would love to see some of it spent on this side of the river :)) We are the poor relations .
And a band stand doesn't really make up for our long gone lovely swimming pool !

[firetracie]

Hi everyone and thanks to you all for your comments. It is obvious that our personal preferences are as diverse as our personalities - just as it should be.

I feel OEV made a good point about crime and the fear of crime. I've been doing some research on this over the last couple of days and have looked into many stories where run down, crime ridden areas have had new life breathed into them. The means and approaches are often different but two things are common in these stories.

Firstly, before this intervention people felt isolated, didn't know the people around them, didn't care, didn't feel anyone cared about them and were afraid. Those who chose to cause trouble or commit crime did so secure in the knowledge that no one knew them and, even if they did, they wouldn't dare do anything about it.

Then, by somehow bringing people together, treating all sectors with respect and encouraging their involvement, the anonimity lessens. Peolpe get to know each other and it's not so easy to be abusive or disrespectful of someone you know. You may not like them, or choose to spend time with them, but you're unlikely to terrorise them in their own homes. Some of those that were anti-social or petty criminals found a new self-respect and developed respect for others, often making different choices and finding more productive ways of using their time. Elements which persisted in their previous behaviour were shunned or challenged and moved on. The fear is lifted - and the more people come into the community and talk to each other - even just a "Hello" - the less frightened they become. (cont.)

[firetracie]

Whether it's a close-knit village or an inner city estate - the ability to 'see' a person behind the face you're looking at makes a big difference to how you treat them.

I guess that's the kind of community I'd like to live in. The one where, if a ball smashes your window the kid that kicked it is someone you know lives up the street and comes and apologises (OK - so their Mum and/or Dad brings them back to apologise (lol) ), instead of being a faceless vandal who just laughs and runs away. OK - so the window's still broken - but the consequences are vastly different. The one where if you leave your car parked on the road with the lights on, a neighbour knows who's car it is and will knock on your door to tell you. The one where if a carrier bag splits as you're carrying the shopping in someone will stop the tins or the apples rolling off down the road and return them to you.

Little things I know. But they can make all the difference.

Thanks again to everyone for their contributions.

[Oneeyedvic]

Hiya Shaney - well I work in Gorleston (Beacon Park) - and some of it isn't too bad ;-).

I have also helped out at Oriel, and that school is coming on leaps and bounds. Cliff Park is again a good school with good kids there.

What do you think of this new Unitary Council proposal? Or should we start a new thread.....