I think Mr Veritas is, alas, quite correct.
To qualify for these “free” services you have to be in receipt of benefits. The receipt of benefits is the key to a door behind which lies untold riches. As soon as you qualify for benefits you’re given this key and then virtually all your income becomes pocket money.
Of course with such vast wealth (!) Dinger will not qualify for the key. Having worked all his life and contributed enormous sums in taxes and National Insurance, JSA is not available for him, even though he is probably seeking a job far more vigorously than many who are professional “Jobseekers”.
My Advice – get a cheap SqeezyJet return ticket to somewhere nice. Have a pleasant night or two in a hotel abroad, but don’t wash or shave whilst you’re there. On the trip back flush your passport and any other papers which might identify you down the kharzi. Declare yourself as an asylum seeker on your return. You’ll be given a ticket to Croydon, and in due course a free council flat, benefits, and access to all the “free” services you want. Oh, and you’ll probably be able to get a little job on the side washing cars or working for the immigration authority (cash in hand, natch) to supplement your income.
Yes, I’m exaggerating, but, unfortunately, only half joking.