Living on your own

[coccinelle]

Don't people who live on their own become lonely and sad because of living on their own? Or can it be a lovely experience? As you'll guess I've never lived on my own though I have spent a few days alone when hubby's been away on business and the house feels so empty... Maybe it's something you get used to but eating meals on your own can't be much fun.

[4getmenot]

I loved on my own for 7 years. I got very used to my own independence. Whe I got with my bloke was so strange and didnt really feel relaxed with him there all the time. But now after 3 years together I dont know how I'm going to manage when he works away in summer.

[4getmenot]

woops lived on my own

[carolegif]

If you are used to your own company then pleasing yourself when you eat, sleep or just watch TV and do your own thing is OK. However, married friends who have lost their partner say that being alone is awful, especially in winter when it is dark early, and eating alone is terrible and many do not eat properly as they cannot see the point in cooking a proper meal for one (dirty pans, preparation etc).
I like my own company sometimes and used to go to our holiday flat for three or four weeks in the summer on my own and loved it. Don'tknow if I would like to be alone all the time though.

[redman41]

I have lived on my own for a number of Years now coccinelle since my Divorce but I do not find it a problem. I have Friends both Male and Female who I socialise with.
I would not be human if I said that I never get lonely, funnily enough you can be lonely sometimes even when living with a Partner.
Not sure if I'll ever remarry as I'm too much of a free spirit but who knows what is on the horizon.
I'm quite used to looking after myself and the one good thing about being single again is that I can do what I want when I want.
Wearing Boxing Gloves can be a help at times though when sexy thoughts come to mind. :-D

[askyourgran]

I am quite happy with my own company finding things to do. But I imagine for the long term it may become a bit boring, having no-one to talk to, if like me you tend not to go out and meet many people. Thankfully I am married. My next door neighbour is sometimes frantic for company, she has two daughters and a son, who visit occasionally, but since her husband died she has become a quite demanding and selfish, I sometimes feel guilty that I don't go in to see her, but when I do I come back home feeling very depressed.

[Mamyalynne]

I have been living alone for 18 months since my husband of 34 years died, it can be very difficult and its easy to neglect yourself, especially regarding food. Why cook when a glass of milk and four crackers will fill you. I try to keep motivated and yes some days I revel in the fact I can do what I want and when, but other times the loneliness is palpable.

[pastafreak]

I think it all depends on WHY you are alone. If it is due to divorce-especially after a long and possibly hard marriage-then to be on your own is a kind of freedom.
If on the other hand it is due to death-well, there is no way to prepare yourself for that,and the emptiness must be awful.
I do think everyone should be on their own for a period in their lives...it gives you a chance to find yourself-with no other influences.

[vulcan]

I guess it's down to the individual and whether they can accept being alone. In my case it was gradual, my wife died early in our marriage and I bought up our two sons, through school and then university, by myself. throughout this time I kept busy and had a lot of interests, this has continued into retirement and luckily my sons keep in touch. Because of my interests, indoor and out, I am often alone but rarely lonely. having friends helps of course but we certainly don't live in each other's pockets.

[coccinelle]

You're probably right, pasta it depends WHY though even after a difficult marriage loneliness could kick in. askyourgran, I've noticed that too that some people become selfish but it's probably like you say carole and redman being able to do what you want when you want, maybe for others it's an injustice to be on their own and they take it out on others. I can imagine 4getmenot of after 7 years having to share things again but glad it's worked out. What would be the best solution for people on their own, having people to pop in or being able to pop into others when they feel lonely?

[coccinelle]

I was typing when your post came in vulcan; yes, yours was a gradual thing as you had your two children but I suppose by keeping yourself busy with interests in the home could help.

[joko]

far from it.
i think its sad that some people are unable to spend time alone and amuse themselves or be content with their own compnay

being unable to function or feel happy because you arent in compnay is not a good state to be in...

(obviously after a loss its differnt, at least for a while)

[JamToday]

I love being on my own, I come from a family of 6 children and we all never got on together, after we all got married or moved away we all seemed to get on better.
I live on my own now and am happier now than I have ever been living with that bunch.

[AlBags]

I'm on my own at the moment. I am pretty busy and outgoing, tho, so it's not a problem for me. My cottage is tidier than it's ever been tho!
You have to try to know : )

[boxtops]

I guess I have the best of both worlds at the moment - OH works away a lot so much of the time I am by myself, I can come in from work and do what I like. It is true, the reasons why the person is alone have a huge bearing on how they handle being alone. I was by myself for 12 years on and off before I remarried, and although I have no problem with the single life, I found social events difficult when people were evidently in couples - and it's hard to book for things like dinner-dances if you have no partner "guaranteed". I'm happy in my own skin so I never mind being alone, in fact I quite like it. I must admit though - I eat better when OH is home, otherwise I am too casual about food, it's just fuel when I'm by myself.

[JamToday]

Boxtop do you have kids? I dont (and dont want any) people say I'm selfish cos I dont want children, I dont think I am.
I think people that have children and just neglect them are selfish!

[ummmm]

Jam.....I just had to say, that's my sons nik name. He hates it but we all call him Jam.

[wolf63]

I have lived alone for almost my whole adult life. I do not think that I would be easy to live with anyway.

I have two cats who are good company. I suffer from depression and sometimes being alone makes this worse, but more often it means that I can take care of my health without having to bother about other people.

However I remember a few years back, when I had a dog, being confined to bed with the flu (the real flu - I thought that I was dying) and knowing that I had to take him for a wee. I could have done with another person then.

[JamToday]

Thats not a nice name to call your Son Ummmm, although there must be a story to it .......
Wolf, I had a cat at one time and cared more about it than I did any of my family. Does that make me weird?

[wolf63]

Nah -just honest.

[JamToday]

Yeah but is there any other people out there like me, ones that care about their pets more than they do their family ...................Baring in mind I dont have a Husband or any children.