ChatterBank1 min ago
Atheist married to a christian
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How does that work? Aren't you living with someone who you feel is essentially delusional, and doesn't that put a strain on things?
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That rather depends on your attitude. If you are the kind of proseletysing atheist who vehemently dismisses out of hand any religious belief, that would put a strain on things. If on the other hand you happen to be an atheist who lets others get on with believing what they want to believe I don't see why it would be an issue.
It's not a problem, IMO, if you are both mature enough to handle it. I know several couples where the partners are of different faiths - a level of tolerance is called for, but each to their own. I know families (including my own) where the parents and children all adopted different faith systems (or none) over the years - we all respected and tolerated each others' right to have different beliefs.
ludwig originally asked this question of me on another thread and I promised to answer it.
My wife (a Christian) and I (a positve atheist) have no problems at all because neither of us is bigoted. She accepts that I consider all religious belief to be absurd and, on balance over the millennia, has produced more pain and suffering than good. She naturally disagrees but does not nag or lecture me about it. She does not preach because she knos that I am very familiar with Christian beliefs an do not need sermons.
For my part, when I have or xhooae to go to church for social reasons
My wife (a Christian) and I (a positve atheist) have no problems at all because neither of us is bigoted. She accepts that I consider all religious belief to be absurd and, on balance over the millennia, has produced more pain and suffering than good. She naturally disagrees but does not nag or lecture me about it. She does not preach because she knos that I am very familiar with Christian beliefs an do not need sermons.
For my part, when I have or xhooae to go to church for social reasons
damn... I pressed SUBMIT by accident. So, continuing...
For my part, when I am required to go to church for social reasons she knows that I will not haughtily refuse. I naturally don't take part in the prayers and chants and I don't heckle the preacher when he says things about the gospels which I know are not true. Some of the hymns are jolly nice songs and I join in lustily on the grounds that most songs have fictional lyrics so why not sing about a fictional 'God' and a mythical Jesus story?
As to the "nature of life" evolution explains that perfectly, including the brain which produces wonderful things like love, brotherhood, charity, music, poetry and the similarly sublime. The "meaning of life" has no explanation because it makes no sense. What does "the meaning of life" mean, apart from feeding mankind's ego?
I could say more, but that's enough for now.
For my part, when I am required to go to church for social reasons she knows that I will not haughtily refuse. I naturally don't take part in the prayers and chants and I don't heckle the preacher when he says things about the gospels which I know are not true. Some of the hymns are jolly nice songs and I join in lustily on the grounds that most songs have fictional lyrics so why not sing about a fictional 'God' and a mythical Jesus story?
As to the "nature of life" evolution explains that perfectly, including the brain which produces wonderful things like love, brotherhood, charity, music, poetry and the similarly sublime. The "meaning of life" has no explanation because it makes no sense. What does "the meaning of life" mean, apart from feeding mankind's ego?
I could say more, but that's enough for now.
// As to the "nature of life" evolution explains that perfectly, including the brain which produces wonderful things like love, brotherhood, charity, music, poetry and the similarly sublime. The "meaning of life" has no explanation because it makes no sense. What does "the meaning of life" mean, apart from feeding mankind's ego? //
Thanks for answering Chakka.
I agree with you on the above. Presumably your wife disagrees though.
She must think you're going to hell - doesn't that worry her? - and as I said above - you must think she's deluded - doesn't that worry you?
Thanks for answering Chakka.
I agree with you on the above. Presumably your wife disagrees though.
She must think you're going to hell - doesn't that worry her? - and as I said above - you must think she's deluded - doesn't that worry you?
Hear hear, well said, chakka. Whether or not the hereafter for chakka is of concern to mrs. chakka, she is sensible enough not to keep going on about it - I wish that we could all learn to leave alone things that we just can't change. Would that we were all so tolerant - and what some fail to understand is that those who choose to be atheist or agnostic may well be very familiar with religious doctrine, they just choose not to subscribe to it.
I certainly agree that things that cannot be changed are best left alone.
However it is important to challenge the perceived right of the religious to prosletyse and promote their message without question.
I too have been to church for weddings and funerals. I find the rituals incantations and gestures quite bizarre and cannot help but see them as just another form of witchcraft. However I would not dream of interrupting and I have been known to sing along the occasion hymn (though I do draw the line at some).
Nor do I confront people in day to day life. I work with some sincere Christians who are good people and I see need to to confront them either. I did have a discussion with one about the nature of his belief in the context of his singing experiences which are mostly in church. I didn't raise my beliefs because it wasn't in the context of the discussion.
However I will happily tell people what I believe in if they ask. I have often engaged JWs in long discussions and while they respect my position I will respect theirs though that does not mean I won't argue or point out the absurdities. I will also tell them that I believe they are supporting a very sick philosophy.
Similarly here. I respect the right of people to believe whatever they want. However this site is meant to be a discussion and just like the JWs at my door, someone who comes here should not expect others to withhold their views from the discussion even if they find them confronting.
However it is important to challenge the perceived right of the religious to prosletyse and promote their message without question.
I too have been to church for weddings and funerals. I find the rituals incantations and gestures quite bizarre and cannot help but see them as just another form of witchcraft. However I would not dream of interrupting and I have been known to sing along the occasion hymn (though I do draw the line at some).
Nor do I confront people in day to day life. I work with some sincere Christians who are good people and I see need to to confront them either. I did have a discussion with one about the nature of his belief in the context of his singing experiences which are mostly in church. I didn't raise my beliefs because it wasn't in the context of the discussion.
However I will happily tell people what I believe in if they ask. I have often engaged JWs in long discussions and while they respect my position I will respect theirs though that does not mean I won't argue or point out the absurdities. I will also tell them that I believe they are supporting a very sick philosophy.
Similarly here. I respect the right of people to believe whatever they want. However this site is meant to be a discussion and just like the JWs at my door, someone who comes here should not expect others to withhold their views from the discussion even if they find them confronting.
I asked chakka the question because he's a regular anti religion poster on here. I know people in the same situation - ie that have a religious spouse and aren't religious themselves.
The way they deal with it not to think about it too much, they basically think 'I like it when the missus is at church - it's a couple of hours peace on a sunday'. That's about the depth (or lack of depth) of their attitude towards it. In other words, they're not vehemently anti-religion like chakka is - they just don't give a toss.
I may be wrong, but judging by his postings on here, chakka DOES give a toss.
So my question is how can a marriage between a vehemently anti religious person and a christian work?
It's not the same thing as going to a church wedding and joining in the hymns, or sending christmas cards - all non-believers do that stuff - unless they're completely miserable of course - but this is a marriage I'm talking about.
The way they deal with it not to think about it too much, they basically think 'I like it when the missus is at church - it's a couple of hours peace on a sunday'. That's about the depth (or lack of depth) of their attitude towards it. In other words, they're not vehemently anti-religion like chakka is - they just don't give a toss.
I may be wrong, but judging by his postings on here, chakka DOES give a toss.
So my question is how can a marriage between a vehemently anti religious person and a christian work?
It's not the same thing as going to a church wedding and joining in the hymns, or sending christmas cards - all non-believers do that stuff - unless they're completely miserable of course - but this is a marriage I'm talking about.
I don't see your problem, ludwig. I'm talking about a marriage as well, and I've explained it.
My wife is not worried that I will go to hell because her beliefs, though irrational, do not go so far as to embrace that sort of medieval nonsense. And I am not worried about the delusion she suffers under because, in her case, it doesn't give rise to violence, suicide-bombing, the burning of people at the stake and the demanding that people like me be beheaded. It's harmless Anglican church-going with a lot of charitable work connected with it.
My wife is not worried that I will go to hell because her beliefs, though irrational, do not go so far as to embrace that sort of medieval nonsense. And I am not worried about the delusion she suffers under because, in her case, it doesn't give rise to violence, suicide-bombing, the burning of people at the stake and the demanding that people like me be beheaded. It's harmless Anglican church-going with a lot of charitable work connected with it.
Why should it? - Well, some atheists might think that the school is filling their children's heads with religious nonsense. The husband would disagree and that may lead to tension in their relationship.
The situation obviously works for you, but the above doesn't seem a far-fetched scenario to me snowdrop.
The situation obviously works for you, but the above doesn't seem a far-fetched scenario to me snowdrop.
// So which partner is supposed to be delusional? //
I'm not making any judgement about that in the question geezer. I'm saying that an atheist has to believe that someone who believes in god is delusional, and a christian must believe an atheist is rejecting god and therefore heading for - I don't know what - hell, lack of heaven, just death - something worse than them at any rate.
I'm just curious to know how people make that relationship work, that's all.
I'm not making any judgement about that in the question geezer. I'm saying that an atheist has to believe that someone who believes in god is delusional, and a christian must believe an atheist is rejecting god and therefore heading for - I don't know what - hell, lack of heaven, just death - something worse than them at any rate.
I'm just curious to know how people make that relationship work, that's all.
If two people were so incompatible i doubt they would have got married in the first place.Surely any problems would have come to the surface before the wedding day. A Christian would want to get married in church, surely an atheist with extreme anti God views would feel uncomfortable with this. Some Christians don't believe in sex before marriage, so the poor atheist would be have to be very understanding.
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