Out of the mouths of babes

[Barmaid]

Just had to share this since I am still crying with laughter.

We had my step son at the weekend. He has significant learning disorder. To help him communicate we have a white board in the kitchen where he can write things down that he likes/doesn't like.

Since he left on Monday I have been trying to decipher his hyroglyphics (sp?). tonight I worked out what it said:-

"***** (his name) will only wash his winky woo in the bath with his face".

We both know what he means, but the way he puts it has had us in stitches.

Any funnies your little ones have come out with you want to share?!

[daffy654]

My daughter on hearing that her cousin was getting a leotard to do gymnastics in (Cousin is called Leah) shouted out that she wanted a Rebeccatard (her name is Rebecca).
My son (also learning disabled) when hearing his dad's car needed to go to the garage asked "Does it need more engine?"

[sherrardk]

Walking past a homeless person (well, I think they were homeless) in the subway, thing 1 shouted out 'yuck, nasty'. She's such a charmer!

[Harry-Wragg]

I wish I could wash my winky woo with my face - talented little fellow!!

[Barmaid]

His father is in two minds whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, Harry. We are still killing ourselves.

[cazzz1975]

my son constantly asks this question " how many characters in 2 terabytes"

[4getmenot]

my niece said to redcrx other day 'mummy i cant do a poo, you need to put some in my mouth so itll come out"
she said "no , poo isnt put in you. Master redcrx, tell your sis what poo is"
and he said "its little brown yucky bits that smell and come out of your bum"

[Buenchico]

At the rail station I used to work at the urinals in the gents' toilet were of the 'individual' type (rather than a common 'trough'). I went in to use the facilities and (as tradition dictates) joined a long line of guys standing in stoney silence, while staring straight ahead. But one urinal was being shared by two little boys, with Daddy using the one next to them. Suddenly the silence was broken by a little voice announcing to the world: "I'm glad I'm not sharing with Daddy, because HE always sprays it EVERYWHERE!". Everyone burst into laughter, while one red-faced father was probably simply wanting to strangle his son!

[Barmaid]

You are just going to have to use google, Cazz!!!

Forget - you can't fault Master Red for his wisdom!

Chris - they say the funniest things at the most innappriate moments. He had me (and half the tube train) killing ourselves on Monday when some muppet got trapped in the doors. He just says what everyone else thinks and would really like to say. He makes me cry (with laughter).

I still keep looking at the white board now I've deciphered it and laughing. I must take a picture of it.

[radiogaga]

my daughter(5) had a pal over to play (8). pal has been here many times.
i overheard their conversation as i was making soup for lunch, it went something like this ( my daughter) ''right kate you sit over their on the sofa, next to tiger and ill draw you''. (kate) '' oh i cant go near the cat, im allergic''.
my daughter '' but you've been next to tiger before?!'' kate ''no i AM allergic i get a bad cough when i'm near cats (coughs lightly for effect). ''its the cats skin im allergic to, it brings me out in a bad cough'' my daughter- '' well you'r sitting on the sofa and thats wool, its made from sheep, are you allergic to that too?''
i was bent double laughing in the kitchen, biting my tounge trying not to lol.

[ummmm]

Owen is classic...

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Massive pause for serious thinking time.....

Him: Jesus Christ.

[4getmenot]

master redcrx once collected all the sesame seeds off his bun when he had a meal out, gave them to his nana in a napkin, when she went to throw them away he said 'No nana! you can plant them and make some more burgers' :-)

[Harry-Wragg]

Never mind the picture Barmaid, get him to write the instructions!

[ummmm]

I don't need to anymore.....I let him watch passion of Christ. He soon changed his mind....

[Barmaid]

ummmm, stop it. My stomach hurts as it is. That's funny.

[ummmm]

At least it showed a bit of ambition :-)

[Barmaid]

Noooooooo Harry, I can't stand it. It took me 4 days to deciper his most recent missive.

Forget, I am loving the "growing a burger". pmsl.

[Barmaid]

Radiogaga, I can't do the "not laughing" thing. Particularly if my mother is around - we end up in stitches. We really can't be serious when he spouts forth his words of wisdom.

[ummmm]

Me and OH snuck off for a sneaky quickie. In the middle of it my daughter walks into the bedroom. Obviously you stop what you're doing. The next day, standing in a packed lift in the shopping centre, she pipes up 'Mummy, why were you bouncing on Daddy's belly'