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forced and arranged marriages

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nailit | 15:11 Sun 01st Apr 2012 | Religion & Spirituality
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Given the recent media coverage of kids as young as 5 been forced into muslim marriages can anyone tell me, is this practice condoned in the koran or is it a cultural thing?
Also, do people who practice this kind of thing have any sense of love and affection?
I dont want an anti islam thread here, Im just curious as to why anyone would want to marry a 5 year old girl. Im well aware that in years gone by that child marriage existed in the UK. Still cant get my head around it though, just because it once happened here.
Thanks.
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Sith, can you clarify your last posting, what does "believe with" mean if it doesn't mean 'agree with'?
yes. there is no minimum age limit in the quran and in islam. it is as soon as they hit puberty. that does not mean they have to get married than. as i have said, the common age is 19-20.

i have explained my view. if you cannot understand that is your problem, not mine.
jom, believe because there is no minimum age limit. as soon as you hit pubery which can be around 9. however i do not agree with it means i would not do that. is that simple enough for you now???
My problem is that you might not 'marry your daughters off' at 9 years old, but some people do. This has to contradict what your Koran says about choice as a nine year old little girl can have no possible idea of what is expected of her within a marriage or the fact that if she gets pregnant she might die. She cannot CHOOSE because she is not equipped to choose, therefore it is no choice.
No, it's your problem Sith. You are attempting to communicate and failing miserably. Perhaps you should wait for Keyplus to tell you what you should be saying.
It seems obvious that the koran means whatever you want it to mean and once it has been 'interpreted' by a scholar or imam it can mean just about anything.
yes nox, there are going to be a few who do that. the majority do not.

naomi, i know what i am saying. maybe focus on yourself before on others than youll find the problem...you.

i have stated my opinion with out keyplus. i know what i am saying. all i said is that i want to hear what he has to say rather than taking your word for it.
Sith i'm not muslim bashing honestly, in fact I often stick up when people are, and I appreciate fully that you have siad that you don't agree with such a young age to marry, but surely you can see the contradicton I was talking about. Why do scolars of Islam not publicise the fact that to marry a girl that young is unislamic. I understand all about Mohammed marrying a 6 year old, but my friends who are Muslim are liberal and see the nature of the Koran can be altered as it was written in an historical context of what was culturally acceptable then. That's not acceptable now so why don't more scholars point this out?
Sith, you are sending mixed messages. You say you disagree with it, and then you say if people want to do it, it's 'fine'.

Forget Keyplus. Do you agree with it. Yes or no?
Thankyou Sith, I think what you are saying is that although the koran says that it is OK to have sex with a girl of nine(assuming that she has reached puberty and is married) you personally do not agree with the practice. If you can choose to disagree with the koran over the age of marriage and sex, what other koranic edicts do you disagree with? Can a muslim pick and choose the bits of the koran that they want ? I thought that the koran was meant to be quite strict, particularly about lying to, stealing from and killing 'infidels'.
Didn’t I say that my one posts usually attracts 10 posts. Particularly from few very well-known people here. And then “same” people blame me for hijacking the thread. I do not hijack, I answer the questions put there although few will still not agree that answer has been given.

My mother – in law always liked Chicken Korma and I found that out soon after I got married. My wife is from Exeter and at the time we got married there were not many Asian people around apart from few Bengalis. She used to buy from one Bengali restaurant. When the first time I looked at that I refused to accept that it was chicken korma. Then when she came to visit us in London I took her to Southall and what I bought her she refused to accept that as chicken korma. Because she was so used to of what she was being sold as chicken korma that she had started believing that to be right one.

That was an example to tell few that there are few matters in your life that you would accept only as you know them and how you know them. In my very first post I did mention the difference between what we “Asian” call an arranged marriage and what people here “non Asian” would accept as arranged marriage. But to clarify what you know as arranged marriage is what we call forced marriage and has nothing to do with Islam and is very rare even in cultures and should always be opposed.

Now, let’s talk “once again” about a subject that always appears here on average every 6 months or whenever few people come across keyplus in long discussions (whatever comes first). Muhammad (pbuh) marriage to Ayesha (pbuh). If someone is interested in that then please start another thread and I would explain (or will try to) that what it was all about yet once again.

However right now that is not needed on this thread. Now few people are putting words in my mouth that I say that it is OK to marry a child. No I never said that. However I did say that Islam does not believe in digits but nature. Islam believes that the earliest “YES THE EARLIEST” a person “CAN BE” married is once She or He (and yes, He TOO) has reached puberty. Now at different times, at different places in the world people reach puberty at different age and therefore Islam is more practical as you do not have to look into the local law. Biologically someone who has reached puberty is not a child anymore however emotionally we are all children for our parents does not matter how old we are. If someone does not agree with it then give me the right age you believe it should be. Are Spanish people marrying children according to British law because age of consent there is 13? Knowing the nature of few people I know it will change the subject so therefore it might be right idea to put another thread as I just wanted to clarify here that I never said that it was OK to marry a child and that’s all.
Keyplus, No reason to put another thread up. This subject is covered in this question.

Please don’t take people here for fools because they’re not. They know the difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage (and they also know that some ‘arranged’ marriages are also ‘forced’ marriages). Apart from that you have already given the definition of an arranged marriage - and yours wasn’t one.

//Arranged marriage is where parents and relatives from two families arrange a suitable person according to age, looks, character, education, likes, dislikes and families for compatibly. //

As for child marriages, you're saying exactly what you’ve said before - that in your opinion it is perfectly acceptable for girls to be married as soon as they reach puberty even if they're only 9 years old - the reason being that you consider such a girl – regardless of age – mature, and hence ready for marriage . That sums it up, doesn’t it? A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is all that’s needed.

And stop answering questions with yet more questions, as you always do when you’re in a spot. The minimum age for marriage in various countries is not the subject under discussion. We’re talking about Islam.
Did Ayesha (sp) reach puberty at 6 then?
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Blimey...never expected so many responses, interesting reading.
I'm still a bit perturbed though that ANYONE could have any kind of sexual feelings towards a young girl, just because she's hit puberty, never mind having any kind of 'romantic' attatchment. It just doesnt sit well with me.
Ummmm, the marriage was consummated when she was 9.
Sith - Whilst I always read these threads with interest, I generally don't enter any debates for the simple reason I don't understand enough about Islam to enter the fray.

Now, whilst all religions are, of course, utter rubbish and made up of ridiculous fairy stories, it takes a very special brand of nuttery, and cruelty, to believe a child hitting puberty is ready for marriage......but that wasn't why I was posting.

You said to Naomi "i have explained my view. if you cannot understand that is your problem, not mine."

As an observer on these threads, I can categorically state that Naomi's posts are always very clear, whereas yours and the ones from Keyplus are not.
She still got married at 6 though.

Keyplus said //Islam believes that the earliest “YES THE EARLIEST” a person “CAN BE” married is once She or He (and yes, He TOO) has reached puberty.//
Ummmm, yes, she did.
Flip_flop, thank you.
Keyplus is an apologist for Islam, he has no reason., he just blindly follows, cuts and pastes. You have to question his morality.

Pedophilia is exactly that and anyone who sanctions it has no place in any civilised society.

If both partys enter into an arranged marriage are happy to do so, if either does so against ier will it is reprehensible. Given that some are betrothed at birth its disgusting.

Naomi you do realise that Keyplus's big problem with you is your gender? The fact that you are smarter, more knowledgeable than him about his own religion and are far more erudite than him pales against the fact you are a woman. That is why he takes the tone he does in his own "mind" he is patronising you.

He cannot give a short answer, because we would see how little he can defend the question, he post these long and srawling questions in the hope of confusing the reader, as we are stupid. I also like the other tatic he uses, of waiting until he thinks a poster has gone from the board, then posting an answer in an attempt to have the last word.

Pathetic doesn't really cover it.

No more posts from me on this, if Keyplus wants to promote Pedophilia in the name of religion I hpe the ed will deal with it.

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