I've been reporting as fradulent spam advertisements from a 'witch doctor' which are appearing in Gumtree.

[sandyRoe]

The terrifying thought just struck me that he/she might cast a hex on me. Can this be done if they don't know who I am?

[dzug2]

Don't kid yourself - they know who you are. You are doomed. (inserts large smilie for avoidance of doubt)

[Mamyalynne]

I shall pray for you.

[humbersloop]

are you crossing swords with doctor kalibu here sandy?

[sandyRoe]

Thank you, Mamya. With the prayers of the AB faithful protecting me what have I to fear from the practitioners of the black arts. :-)

[tonyav]

If you feel a sharp prick !, then the ''Witch Doctor '' is sticking pins in your effigy, sandy.

[sandyRoe]

The very one, Humber. I'd be very annoyed if he/she shrunk my head to the size of a wallnut. I've just bought a new hat.

[humbersloop]

fear not, the goodly ungodly are lining up right behind you too

pbuh Ab Editor !

[sandyRoe]

The name, Dr Kalibu, reminds me of Kaliber beer. You could drink it all night and it didn't seem to have any effect.

[humbersloop]

I do find the idea that doctor k is looking for a congregation in Belfast highly amusing sandy - I mean there's pretty stiff competition from the incumbents

[rowanwitch]

no as they need something of yours a hair a nail clipping etc

[EDDIE51]

Don't eat tinned pork products it may be Spam .

[Davethedog]

Oh Sandy have you never seen Live and Let Die?

[Booldawg]

see? they have you already! fear is the key...

[boxtops]

where's sandy gone?!

[jomifl]

A bit of problem here Sandy, if the god you believe in exists then he will protect you if he is able to. If he doesn't exist then the supernatural powers of the witch doctor won't exist as your deity being the omnipotent creator will trump all else. There is no guarantee that your god will protect you as he hasn't been evident lately. Just pray that your god doesn't exist as that is your only hope for salvation. :-)

[jomifl]

By the way Sandy what makes you think that the witch doctor's claims are any more fraudulent than those of any other religon. Lighten up and let live, he is as entitled to fool the gullible as anyone else

[sandyRoe]

jomifl, I sent him good money for a spell that would help me pick nothing but winners at the horses. It didn't work. He's a mountebank masquerading as someone in touch with the world of the occult, nothing at all like the clergy who guide our faltering steps in this vale of tears..

[wildwood]

Be afraid, be very afraid. That 'Witchdoctor' could be the horned One from the underworld coming to punish you for trying to convert the goodly Godless ones.

btw I believe a Witchdoctor is supposed to protect you from black magic and voodoo, not inflict it.

[jomifl]

Methinks that thou fibbest somewhat Sandy, beware that the omnipotent one doth not punish thee for bearing false witness.

[modeller]

Oh ye of little faith to write such words condems you verily to hell.
Your vengeful God will strike you surely asunder, repent , repent, farewell.