An Awful Thing To Say?

[NoMercy]

Just read an article in the village mag... "The Rector Writes"

He questions whether a win on the lottery would actually make us happy, and I think he's made a good point there. I am not sure I would be happy to live a life of decadence and have nothing more meaningful to wake up for each day.

However, he goes on to say that the greatest cause of happiness is our relationship with God and that he loves us more than any human father!

Try telling that to my ex who lost his cherished daughter to a brain tumour 4 years ago...

He then goes on to say that He listens to us when we pray to Him.

Oh right. So if I'd prayed for my Nan when she was told her cancer was inoperable and radiotherapy would only buy her a few more weeks, would He have cured her?

Your thoughts on these assertions?

[ChillDoubt]

Apologies, I lost interest after the word Rector....

[sherrardk]

I'd rather be miserable with money than without! But seriously, this is what I have never got about religion or religious people - how can they believe when such awful things happen? My step-grandparents are born again religious types, when my step-grandfather was still alive they went for it 100%, constantly ramming religion down our throats whilst maintaining that the starving children in some African country more or less got what they deserved because they were black! Doesn't make any sense to me.

[China Doll]

No, I don't think it's an awful thing to say. I completely disagree with him and think he's talking out the wrong hole (including the winning the lottery thing, it might no buy my happiness but I'd rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable!)

But all that^^^ said and done, it's what he believes and he's not trying to be malicious so no, not an awful thing to say.

[NoMercy]

Thanks for your replies.

China, I only used the word "awful" because he's so obviously dedicated to his faith that he's omitted to stop and think about grieving parents.

I see what you say about the rich and miserable vs poor and miserable but have to say that the short amount of time I spent out of work following my break up was the most miserable time of my life. I wasn't short of money at the time so that wasn't the issue. Once I was back at work, I started to feel happy again.

[China Doll]

I think routine and having a sense of purpose at any hard time is really important, though often easier said than done in my experiance, it stops you lingering on things for significant periods and I find that helpful. Although I also think you need to rest your brain initially as throwing yourself in to work can be counter productive too, it's all a bit of a fine balance and, again in my experience, difficult to get right sadly.

For me the money thing is because I see money as a form of freedom. If I don't have to worry about that then I can focus on the things that do matter to me, and that's not necessarily about being rich, just secure. Not sure that makes any sense but I know what I mean :c)

[NoMercy]

That's one of the most logical answers I've ever read, China. You are right.

[DTCwordfan]

Your changes were pretty cataclysmic and not foreseen - how much have you read on grief management and management of change, NoM?

It's worth swatting up on that if you have staff reporting to you....and also for personal reflection.

Why do they call them rectors? - well something to do with rectums I would say......what a load of toss.

[pastafreak]

I work for a Christian charity-tho I refer to myself as the resident heathen,as I have no particular belief. But-I will not show disrespect for those who do believe. I do sometimes have some interesting conversations with co-workers(when they are not too gung ho about how jesus will make everything ok).
One of my co-workers explained-that for him at least,and others-God does NOT control all that happens-nor does he take away pain or suffering. Rather he gives us tools to cope with life and both the good and bad it throws at us. How good or bad we are is up to us,as is how we deal with the pain or happiness life gives us.
I guess that is preferable to believing that every thing is Gods doing-and pain and suffering is part of his retribution or punishment.

[sara3]

each to their own, but religion holds no significance to me. if someone is "watching over me" then I guess I p***ed them off a very long time ago.

and I'll take the lottery win. I'd rather be miserable with a Maserati sitting int he garage of my whopping house. thank you :o)

[gness]

I have been an atheist since I was fifteen and my Catholic mother threw me out for dating a Protestant boy.
When we found out OH was dying his son, a doctor and in your face born again Christian, sent us a religious book with the passage Death is Not the End marked and told us to read it and pray to Jesus for guidance.
I have no time for their clap trap.

[pastafreak]

PS-I'd rather have the money also...at least it's useful in the here and now.

[naomi24]

I agree. We can be miserable with or without money – but money assures a more comfortable misery. Ultimately, if you depend upon an imaginary being for help you can hardly be surprised at disappointment.

[ludwig]

Money doesn't buy happiness, it buys security, or as Chinadoll puts it - freedom. It takes away alot of the fears that most people have to live with about being able to pay the mortgage and the bills, or how they're going to cope with crises such as illness, redundancy etc etc.

When you're not preoccupied with those anxieties, you can concentrate on doing the things make you happy rather than the things you need to do just to exist.

You can still win the lottery and carry on working if that's what makes you happy, but how much nicer it is to know that you can tell them to shove the job without a second thought should you ever need to.

[jno]

I don't think God does instant cures any more, and the Rector doesn't seem to suggest otherwise. But people are entitled to seek comfort where they can.

[jno]

does money really bring security? People just seem to get desperate for more money. How dare they cut my child benefit when I only earn £90,000? If you raise my tax I'm moving to Russia. Give me money for my duck refuge. Those don't sound like secure people.

[Mick-Talbot]

Does god stop watching over me when I put a porno in the DVD player ? :0/

[seadogg]

Maybe that depends on age jno. We are what is described as "comfortably off"
and also pretty long in the tooth. Many of our friends are the same boat. None of us is in any way grasping for a little more or less but by gum! are we glad we don't have to worry about the stuff any more. We may face losing universal benefits in the near future but what the heck.

[ludwig]

jno
// does money really bring security? //

It would for me. A lottery win would be most welcome, as would donations from other lottery winners suffering existential angst about what to do with their new found wealth, and whether it's actually making them happier or not.

From the examples you give I'd question think the child benefit and Depardieu ones as they seem to be more matters of political principle than a fear of losing money. As regards the MPs expenses, I think some MPs are just greedy arrogant bastards. I take your point though.

[modeller]

I have found the happiest people I ever met were those who were the most contented with their lives. Frequently they were not particularly bright and were doing soul destroying boring jobs but they didn't see it that way. They were doing a simple job that they were capable of doing well and they were happy with their lot. I met some mother hens who wanted nothing more than looking after their family 24 hours a day. They were almost invariably fat and contented.
I don't think a lot of money makes anyone happy but lack of money can cause unhappiness. I never found any of those people were overtly religious so there was no connection there.
However if religion makes you more contented with your life then maybe
it helps. It kept the poor in their place for millennia.

[woofgang]

Nom I think that's a very thoughtless article....and winning or having a lot of money doesn't automatically mean a life of decadence (what a lovely old fashioned word though) I think he's probably a fairly foolish person with a blinkered outlook and that if god has read that article he is probably rolling his/her eyes and slapping his/her forehead and wondering what he/she has done to deserve such a dolt.