ChatterBank1 min ago
Work Life And Family Life Balance
I heard from someone that: whenever you are stuck in issues of life, get guidance from a wise person.
I am 24 year old, I belong to a small city, I have 4 sisters, I am eldest, no brother. My father is a lawyer but he doesn't practice anymore due to his serious health issues.
I am software engineer and I am earning around 800 dollars a month
One sister just completed her MBBS and she is earning 300 dollars a month.
We are living in a house which was gifted by my grand father to my aunt. So we have to leave it as soon as possible.
We have some commercial property but we can't sell it as my late grand father is the owner and we have some issues with our Uncle so mutual consent is required to sell the property.
Now I think I have these options:
1) sell the commercial property somehow and buy a house in a better city and focus on earning more (which I can't do right now as I really don't have peace of mind because of joint family issues related to my uncle and aunt )
2) Get a house on rent in a better city and focus on earning more money and give my sisters better education
3) Leave my family in the small city and move to bigger city and focus on earning more money (difficult for me as I have very responsible nature and I would stay worried about my father's health and my sisters)
4) Avail the scholarship of ITALY which I am expected to get and move there like a heartless selfish person which I am not. Also I can't move to another country permanently, I would have to return back after masters. I am engaged to a solider so It would be difficult for me to betray him and never return back to my country.
5) Get married and take the responsibility of my new home, again I am not selfish so can't do it.
I consider myself a person who has fine IQ as well as EQ as per the feedback. I don't consider myself a wise person in terms of taking decisions. I consider my self kind and I like to take responsibility of everyone, as It satisfy me. I am fine liner coder type person. I don't want to be hopeless but I am disappointed with myself that I should have achieved more at the age of 24.
Please guide me If you think that my thought process is problematic. If not, which option is best?
I am 24 year old, I belong to a small city, I have 4 sisters, I am eldest, no brother. My father is a lawyer but he doesn't practice anymore due to his serious health issues.
I am software engineer and I am earning around 800 dollars a month
One sister just completed her MBBS and she is earning 300 dollars a month.
We are living in a house which was gifted by my grand father to my aunt. So we have to leave it as soon as possible.
We have some commercial property but we can't sell it as my late grand father is the owner and we have some issues with our Uncle so mutual consent is required to sell the property.
Now I think I have these options:
1) sell the commercial property somehow and buy a house in a better city and focus on earning more (which I can't do right now as I really don't have peace of mind because of joint family issues related to my uncle and aunt )
2) Get a house on rent in a better city and focus on earning more money and give my sisters better education
3) Leave my family in the small city and move to bigger city and focus on earning more money (difficult for me as I have very responsible nature and I would stay worried about my father's health and my sisters)
4) Avail the scholarship of ITALY which I am expected to get and move there like a heartless selfish person which I am not. Also I can't move to another country permanently, I would have to return back after masters. I am engaged to a solider so It would be difficult for me to betray him and never return back to my country.
5) Get married and take the responsibility of my new home, again I am not selfish so can't do it.
I consider myself a person who has fine IQ as well as EQ as per the feedback. I don't consider myself a wise person in terms of taking decisions. I consider my self kind and I like to take responsibility of everyone, as It satisfy me. I am fine liner coder type person. I don't want to be hopeless but I am disappointed with myself that I should have achieved more at the age of 24.
Please guide me If you think that my thought process is problematic. If not, which option is best?
Answers
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First of all, you must appreciate that this is a UK-based site, and you are going to get most answers from white British people who may not understand the finer points of cultural differences. That said, from what I have read, the best option would appear to be to resolve the sale of the property that is available, and use the money to secure accommodatio
10:27 Tue 23rd Feb 2021
First of all, you must appreciate that this is a UK-based site, and you are going to get most answers from white British people who may not understand the finer points of cultural differences.
That said, from what I have read, the best option would appear to be to resolve the sale of the property that is available, and use the money to secure accommodation for your family.
It is clear that you feel a responsibility for your family - perhaps more than you should, but that is a cultural difference i think - but given that this is how you feel, moving away without your family will cause more issues than it solves.
Whatever you do, try not to take on sole responsibility for sorting everything for your family. It is admirable that you wish to help them, but you are not responsible for adult people, family or not.
And lastly, don;t be hard on yourself, you have achieved an education and secure employment - plenty of people your age have achieved neither.
I hope this helps a little.
That said, from what I have read, the best option would appear to be to resolve the sale of the property that is available, and use the money to secure accommodation for your family.
It is clear that you feel a responsibility for your family - perhaps more than you should, but that is a cultural difference i think - but given that this is how you feel, moving away without your family will cause more issues than it solves.
Whatever you do, try not to take on sole responsibility for sorting everything for your family. It is admirable that you wish to help them, but you are not responsible for adult people, family or not.
And lastly, don;t be hard on yourself, you have achieved an education and secure employment - plenty of people your age have achieved neither.
I hope this helps a little.
I appreciate everyone who responded to my question. I am from Pakistan. This is very true that there is a lot of cultural difference but I was very confused and found this site to get advice as I couldn't find a forum solely for the people of my country where I could post. But thank you very much for all the answers.
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