A Few Paraprosdokians

[Canary42]

A few what ?

OK, before we start, Wiki says :- A paraprosdokian (/pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, or phrase, is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

7. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

8. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put "DOCTOR."

9. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

10. Behind every successful man is his wife. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another man's wife.

11. A clear conscience is the sign of a faulty memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

13. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.