The afterlife........and beyond

[jackthehat]

As one who has not been 'washed in the blood of the lamb', could someone explain just how my time will be spent in the afterlife ?

As I've not been particularly bad will my experiences be equivalent to, say, spending a grey and rainy afternoon in Ipswich.......boredom beyond belief, etc.

or,
will it be more like a day in, say, arizona where it's hot beyond belief and I can't get into the shade or any respite from the heat ?

[luna-tic]

Mmmm.....Ipswich sounds quite nice.

[naomi24]

Hello Jack, sounds pretty grim to me - although Ipswich isn't bad for shopping. If you get the choice, I'd plump for that if I were you.

Where do you think you'll go? Any ideas?

[jackthehat]

I think my destination is pretty much already determined...........I just wondered if any of the more knowledgable peeps on here could tell me what to expect when I get there.........

[jenstar]

Well that's Ipswich's motto sorted then: "Like Hell, but the shopping's better".

[jackthehat]

So what other torments will I get, apart from being forced (at trident-point ?) to shop, possibly for shoes for my son, for all eternity ?

[Theland]

There is a God.
You are not God.
You will be separated from God.

[mankymonky]

If everyone has thier own hell, mine we would be queing to get in.

[luna-tic]

Your other torment will be headphones sellotaped to your head and repeatedly played Des O' Connor tunes.
Actually that sounds quite nice also.......dickey dum dum.....dickey dum dum. Oh what memories!

[naomi24]

Theland, ok, Jack will be separated from god, but that doesn't give him an answer. Where do you think will he be?

Jack: You think your destination is pretty much determined. Where do you think that is?

Luna: Great voice. Ever thought of applying for Pop Idol?

[jackthehat]

Well, as I see it, despite the fact that I'm a pretty good egg all round, the pearly gates will be barred to me and St. Paul will look at his clipboard and growl, " Your name's not on the list, you can't come in....".

Thus, I'll have to take the 'down escalator'.

So, apart from the queuing, shopping, listening to Des O'Connor (which is all starting to have a strangely familiar ring to it) what will await me once I have shuffled off this mortal coil ?

[chakka35]

I'll be on the down escalator too. But let's look on the bright side: down there we won't have to listen to Theland and Mani droning on. They'll be upstairs boring Jesus to his second death, and I'll bet he won't be in a such a hurry to come back this time.

[jackthehat]

In the 24+ hours that this question has been on-site, the only 'considered' opinion I have had is that " I shall be separated from God........."

That doesn't actually fill me with dread........seeing as that is mostly how I am living my life.

Is that all there'll be ? Just the big bloke next door turning his back to me every time I consider approaching him ?

In conclusion, all the banging on about the correct way to live ones life in the certain hope of gaining the favour of the big beardy one and his son and dwelling with them for evermore, boils down to the fact that if I don't, they won't let me, EVER, so there !?!

[naomi24]

If that's the case Jack, you'll be in great company, because there are a lot of good, decent and caring people out there who won't be going to heaven if you believe what Christians tell you. My own opinion? Our souls survive and hell doesn't exist.

[luna-tic]

naomi, "Pop Idol?" I don't know.
I sing great in the bath, even better with my head under the water.
:0)

[jackthehat]

Whilst I'm grateful for the answers to my posting and thank the ABers for their good-natured and good-humoured ripostes...........it's not really helped me much. The God-botherers have been strangely quiet on the matter.

I would like to have found out about, and been given the supporting references for, the bibles' position on the hereafter.

Not their usual subjective answers nor any 'radical' interpretations of scripture, just the 'infallible' wording of the big book.......

They must have other questions to answer.........

[chakka35]

We don't take your question seriously,jackthehat, because you assume that there is an afterlife in the first place, a jokey start which deserves a jokey finish.

[Theland]

The Liverpool fan died and went to heaven, but St. Peter stopped him at the pearly gates, telling him he had to answer a couple of questions before getting in.
"What's the best thing you ever did in your life?" asked St. Peter.
"Supported Liverpool," said the fan.
"And the worst thing?" asked St. Peter
"Going into a pub full of drunken Everton fans and shouting "Liv-er-pool ... Liv-er-pool!"
"When did that happen?" asked St Peter.
The fan looked at him and said, "About five minutes ago!"

[jackthehat]

I was hoping that one of the God-botherers WOULD take it seriously........

.........as they are so concerned for the health of our souls and the condition in which these will arrive at the celestial arbitrator I was looking to them to tell me what 'they' believe awaits someone whose soul does not carry as many clubcard points as theirs will.

I would have liked a full description of the fires, furnaces and torments, etc.

Perhaps I'll try again later............ :o)

[Theland]

jackthehat - my understanding of the Bible leads me to believe that eternal separation from God is the alternative to eternal life.
I would presume, that anybody deprived of Gods' company, would also be deprived of anybody elses company, and so, again I presume, that the lost soul would be completely alone.
Whether or not you believe in it is another matter, but that is basically what the text tells us.

[jackthehat]

'Basically' what the texts tell us ?

What do the texts YOU read ACTUALLY say ?