An apology to the people of Sheffield........

[jackthehat]

I've just been watching the Bishop of Carlisle on TV. And it appears that the fact that I am gay has been the primary cause of your houses being flooded.............

............so I'd just like to say 'sorry about that'.

[naomi24]

You could be right about the adulterers Jack. The tsunami and all the other devastation caused by earthquakes just has to be caused by divorcees who remarry. Must be something to do with all that 'earth moving' they experience! :o)

Single parents? Now what are they responsible for? Must be something.

[jackthehat]

The Bishop made reference to ' the breakdown of traditional marriages, the erosion of the traditional family unit, immorality and homosexuality'

So then if we divvy it up.......the Sheffield floods are down to me, earthquakes and tsunamis are your fault, naomi. I wonder who on this forum will claim responsibility for droughts, famine, pesitlence and war..........?

.........But can they prove it ?!? I think you and I are above suspicion.

[wizard69]

Ok. I'll admit it. Its my fault.
Yep, drought, pestilence famine, war, all down to my m@sturbation habits.
Sorry, I promise to make an effort to stop guys...

[WaldoMcFroog]

Well, you know what the Bible says, Wiz; cut the hand off.

[jackthehat]

Hang on a mo, Wiz.............

If you spending as much time 'winding your watch' as to be responsible for drought, famine, pestilence AND war........you can have precious little time left to do anything else.........surely you've got to give yourself time off...? To get your breath back and get a refill, if nothing else............?!?

I think that you ought to be able to accept responsibilty for your 'immoral' behaviour and claim..........drought. That's all, just drought.

All we are asking is that others look into their hearts and unburden themselves and claim their responsibility for their actions...........

[jackthehat]

Hee Hee Hee............perhaps DROUGHT wasn't quite the right choice, in the circumstances.............:o)

[wizard69]

Its not just my w@nking habits jack...
Its the thoughts that go on in my head while I'm waxing my carrot.
I must be responsible for more than just drought I'm sure...

[wizard69]

Waldo...have I got to cut Mrs wiz's hand off as well?
sometimes I just dont like going solo...

[WaldoMcFroog]

It's probably best - just to be on the safe side... ;-)

[Mammar]

'Scuse me, gents, but you're putting me right off me jellied eels.
Mind you, I'm mightily relieved to get off the subject of divorcees and single parenting 'cos it was getting a bit uncomfortable there for a while.
However as adultery wasn't involved I'm safe for a bit longer till you get onto a few other vices.
Peanuts, anyone?

[jackthehat]

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, Mammar.........but if you have been married and now you're not.............you have still contributed to the ills of the world..............all part of the decay of the moral fabric, etc., etc..........

Hmmm........think you can have 'pestilence' laid at your door........

oh ! no dry roasted, then ? Shame, but thanks anyway.......:o)

[naomi24]

Mammar, welcome. Lovely to see you - and so pleased you brought the peanuts. See Cap'n Jack, I warned you not to trust me with the catering.

Mmmm ... just a thought, Cap'n, Mammar does have a mobility scooter. Any chance we could possibly pin Global Warming on her? I don't think we've allocated that one yet.

[jackthehat]

There you go, naomi................I doff my cap in your direction, for you know these good folks far better than I...............A mobility scooter..........Satan's run-around, more like !!!

Global warming, it is then..............

[naomi24]

Jack, that could be nearer to the truth than you suspect. She's dressing her scooter up as the Hogwarts Express for the launch of the new Harry Potter book - and we all know Harry Potter is nothing but the devil's work, don't we? Full of evil spells and devil worship, and likely to lead those who read it straight into witchcraft, unleashing unknown and terrifying supernatural forces onto the most innocent members of any local library - and indeed shoppers at W H Smiths! Wow!! The plot thickens!

So how does Global Warming grab you, Mammar? Are you up for that one?

[sense4all]

My eldest is a handmaiden of sin, she plys the evil wares of JKR, and will be doing a witching hour opening at WHS.
I knew eventually I would have evidence of evil malady to pin on her if I just waited long enough ... she does this 'work' to fund her debauched soap- dodging ( student )
alcoholic outings. I might just go and tell her the Bish. wants a word. lol.

[jojojojoanne]

the mad hatters tea party?!

[jackthehat]

Aha.........perhaps Mammar and sense4alls eldest are but Satans imps in thismatter ? Should JKR be blamed for lots more things..........we know that the Baptists and the Pope think she is something approaching the Anti-Christ...........do they have a point ?

I feel quite small in comparison.........should I resign, or go down with our noble vessel, or whatever ?

[naomi24]

An interesting question, Jack. I wonder how many reading this thread agree with the Bishop?

Go down with the ship? The very idea!! Never!!

[davkel]

ya fault my insurance gone up then.ya party sound ok place can i *** but got have colin frith hugh grant.did the bish say that. the chief imman say gays got be chucked off mountain.dont any of these holy men have any love or acceptance.god save us from the rightous, holy, and good.

[mibn2cweus]

Tuh hell with them all, Let's party!