It wasn't written, it was tattooed onto the buttocks of a Nazarene strumpet called Dockyarddoris, and rumour has it that she well, you know, got around a bit. Word got around and her popularity rose to extraordinary heights and she was indeed the most popular woman in Pallestine at that time for late night callers seeking to see and read the message and mysteries contained on her buttocks. And lo and behold, word of mouth, fireside stories, Chinese whispers and some artistic licence towards the extravagance and achievements of Dockyarddoris led to a conglomeration of the tales and stories that we can see today. Some of them are true, some of them are mystical and some of them are, in all probability, the wishful thinking and desires of many a man.
The sad thing is that Dockyraddoris is never mentioned in the Bible. Although there are rumours that in the masterful piece by Leonard of Quirm, entitled �Woman Holding Ferret� the lady in question does in fact reveal some tattooed biblical text and possibly several passages.