First of all you are not crazy.The first step is to see your GP and get anti depressants. They work but not immediately, it takes several weeks for them to kick in. They are not tranquilisers, they lift your mood so you don't feel so hopeless. You are NOT alone and you WILL get better, So many people go through this for many different reasons. You have to take small steps and not look too far ahead. Yes, I have been there but my story won't help you except to say I came through and I'm fine. Do you have any support? Family and real friends are what you need. Also others who have been through it too, they understand but untimately YOU are the only person who can get yourself back on track. It isn't easy, it won't happen overnight but you will get better. Take that first step. When you are feeling better then you can make decisions about your life.