need help on a letter of apology

[cottonbud]

"if" you writing a letter of apology to a friend for the way you have treated them would you go straight for the apology and then explain the reasons or .... would you explain the reasons and then apologise - what would be the best thing to do - this is for a piece of college homework and i'm trying to help someone out and we can't decide what would be the best, as a male he has gone straight for the apology and me as a woman have explained and then apologised, It's one way to spend a Sunday afternoon i suppose :-)

[Mamyalynne]

I would definitely apologise immediately, then add any mitigating circumstances. Plus I would end with a reiteration of the apology.

[bednobs]

apology first

[cottonbud]

MANY thanks we are sitting here deliberating about what is best and now we have someone else saying apologise 1st

[mike11111]

Definitely apology first - always.

[boxtops]

"I just want to apoligise for (whatever it was I did to upset) you in the last few days. I didn't realise X( or I misunderstood the situation, or whatever). I'm really sorry that my behaviour upset you, and I hope that you will accept my apologies.
I hope that this will not spoil our friendship and I look forward to seeing you again soon. "

I would suggest something like this - you don't want to go on too long or you start digging yourself into an even bigger hole!

[ethandron]

snap mamya, same as you - apology, explaination, further apology.

[boxtops]

^apologise

[cottonbud]

oh you people are fantastic and boxtops - we think your are THE top of the boxes lol

[boxtops]

I'm dancing on the lid, thank you!, hope it helps - sorry the spelling's not up to much today!

[ttfn]

I think it may depend upon the apology due, eg if there was no intentional slight upon your friend I would also include the fact that I had only just had the realization of what I had done. Do not fall into the trap of trying to defend your actions as this could be misconstrued as trying to aportion blame. However, I would add that every apology - no matter how it is worded - should be welcomed and received in good part by the recipient. Overall though my answer is the same as mamya's.

[maggie21]

apology first,then explanation.