living apart - years apart.

[kdawg]

I've been on here almost two years ago with the same problem , yet still i haven't managed to sort out my love life. :(

I've just past the 5 year mark with my first serious girlfriend. Shes 25 and I'm 31 ( I was a late bloomer!) We've been doing the long distance for about 20 months now (shes in sweden, myself in Ireland) I've tried living in sweden but it didn;t work so moved back. Shes in sweden studying and is planning to undertake a 4-5 year Phd. All my friends are settling down. Shes not ready to , nor is at a point in her life if she even knows thats what she wants. I've decided to go travelling in Oct/Nov for a year, and was thinking it might be a good time to take a break.......at first to see how we go and perhaps permanently. My life the past 5 years has been living between two countries and we're constantly going round in circles. Its as if i have to wait around until she knows what she wants, but at the same time hate to see her sad.

I'm going travelling no matter what, but don't see how I can upkeep communication. I want to travel and be free for a bit - is that selfish?I'm confused.....again.

Any pointers on similar circumstances and anyone agree with my intentions?

thanks,

kdawg

[silver_fern]

'' I'm going travelling no matter what''

''I want to travel and be free for a bit''

Your two above statments say it all... you cannot wait forever for your gf to make a decision... and it would be unfair of her to expect you to wait. Go travelling - see the world - have some fun... you can still keep in regular contact with her - if you both decide you want to be together then a year is not that long to wait... good luck :o)

[tiggerblue10]

kdawg,

I personally think that as you both want different things you may need to re-think your relationship. She wants to continue studying and you want to travel the world. She can't move here because of her studying for several years and you can't move there because you have tried it and it didn't work.

If you felt that strongly about each other you would have both made sacrifices by now.

I know it sounds harsh but I went through something similar a while back and we decided to call it a day. He lives up north and I live down south.

[Reverandfunk]

Cut your losses and move on it isn't going anywhere

[johnlambert]

move on, not once have you mentioned how you feel about each other so I'm guessing that you both see this as a part time relationship
enjoy finding new ladies to sample

[treacle84]

I have to agree with everyone else, go travelling and move on. It's such an amazing experience and if you come back and things are still 'there' between you, you might be able to sort something out. It's sad but it's probably for the best, good luck :)

[chitchat]

Go and enjoy your travels - if she was the right one for you, you wouldnt even be asking for our opinions. After all this time neither of you seem to want to make a commitment to each other so go and enjoy your life - you never what is waiting around the corner for you.