I have just done a quick distance check in Google maps and it says it is around 33 miles (depending where exactly you live and work it may be a bit more or less).
The obvious route is the A338 and A31, but as this is about the only route for traffic coming from the west (Bournmouth / Poole) and this can get very busy.
Looking at a map an alternative may seem through the New Forest via Lyndhurst but I have a relative who lives near Lyndhurst and the traffic is a NIGHTMARE in that town.
I visited him once and was in Lyndhurst during evening rush hour and it was gridlocked (as you can see from a map Lyndhurst is at the meeting of a number of roads) and traffic CRAWLED through the town. You would not want to go through there every morning and evening.
One nice place I visited was Hythe (just the other side of water from Southampton) and a lot of people live in Hythe and work in Southampton.
In fact there is a ferry that goes across from Hythe to Southampton and many people use it to get to and from work in Southampton.
http://en.wikipedia.o...er,_Railway_and_Ferry
Maybe you can live in Hythe Marina Village
http://www.mdlmarinas...yArticle.asp?ID=52654