A young Liverpool fan is walking his mangy, rabid, one-eared, three-legged dog near Anfield when he finds a lamp and rubs it.
Out pops a genie, who says: "You have released me from a thousand years solitude, and for that I shall grant you one wish."
The Scouser strokes his chin for a minute and replies: "I love my dog so much that I'd like you to restore him to full health and give him back his missing ears and legs."
"Blimey," says the genie, "I'm not a bloody miracle worker! Give me a new wish."
"Oh, all right then - I'd like Liverpool to win the Premiership in my lifetime."
The genie pauses before replying: "Give us another look at that dog."