Parent Trouble; Should I Get Help?

[Darkpelt11]

Hi, I'm fourteen and looking for some advice on my parents and somewhat my brother. I am a teenager so it may be hormones but my friend says that I truly have depression and from many quizzes, books and info, I believe I do.
My parents can be very kind, taking me places and saying they love me and yet they can also be mean. My father yells sometimes and also never really notices that I'm hurt, changing it to himself. My Mother says to talk to her and care and yet she doesn't and my brother is very very emotionally abusive, saying hateful things and sometimes hurting me physically.

This is my first time asking a question so I hope it's not to long and stupid....
I
Like; my mother will say I should talk to her about my feelings and yet when I do, she looks bored or annoyed and says I'm just a stupid overreacting teen. I haven't told her about my thoughts of suicide but I told her I think I'm depressed and she yelled at me, saying to never say it again and that I'm not...

Two; She tells me all the time whenever I try to get to go away from my brother that I'm a jerk or a b**CH (sorry for the langue) and I feel really put down for it. My brother is younger and very mean, he likes to embarrassed me and make me feel bad about myself but then if I tell him to go away or stop, my mother gets mad at me...

Three: I have only four friends and I'm losing three slowly.... I had another but she's gone all punk and left me... My mother gets very growling and does silent treatment whenever I'm going to a friend's house or coming home. I sometimes want to never have friends because of this but then she gets all sweet and lovely and says I should have friends... And then yells at me when I ask to hang with only my friends, not Alex because he's a spazz and rude to me... And then she gets mad and says he has no friends and yet, he has eight, plus he's super social...

Four; I'm put down for my hobbies. My brother sings and likes music, which is what my mother did but I draw and paint, some of which is gore and she looks at it and looks disgusted or looks annoyed... When I don't share what I do, she also gets upset.

Five; Trying to get help I'd hard. I can barely speak to her because she gets annoyed or says I'm overreacting and to get over it. Sense I'm a girl she'll also do the, what month is it thing to me. She gets mad that I don't speak to her and yet I feel so pushed away I can't. She also gets mad when I don't speak about friends but does the same thing of getting annoyed when I do speak. When I tell her this, she lays the guilt on me, saying it's always her fault and it makes me feel horrible for talking...

Sorry, this is super long and I don't want it to get in trouble but I really need another person's thoughts that's not my friends who are all also younger.

[murraymints]

sounds like a typical teenager's life to me !

[waterboatman]

I agree with minty. But I do understand your angst. From what you say, I would suggest you sit your mum down when there is just the two of you and ask her to listen to you. Then tell her how you are feeling. Good luck.

[TWR]

I have a friend, a lovely person & do you know she never ever moans, feels depressed, tries to live life the best of her ability, she has 2 children in the 30s / 40s/ the daughter has 2 children & lovely they are, when I talk to this person I know time is limited, she has cancer, think about your life Dark, have you this issue? think again about what I've written & be thank full your life is going well.

[Islay]

TWR with respect do you think your last comment is going to help this young person? Are you saying that no one can be down because there is always someone worse of than you?

[TWR]

Islay, a lot of these young persons need a kick in the rs, they have everything they want & still moan, that's my view I'm afraid.

[Islay]

Well TWR I think that this is not the right thread for you as a young person is asking for help!! HELP! not being put down and told they need a kick up the backside!!

[Islay]

Darkpelt is there a school or college support officer you can talk to?

[murraymints]

I'm kinda of TWR's school of thought... many teens think they have such a hard life and the world owes them all the time...put it down to consumer life styles and very high "reward" expectations.... life was not ..(and still isn't)..like that in my day...write to your teen mag problem page like we did..especially when bored !!

[Islay]

This young person is having suicidal thoughts murray but as long as you are with twr then I am sure that will help them!!!

[albaqwerty]

Dark, sit your mum down and show her what you have written on here, maybe then she'll get to understand what you are going through.

[murraymints]

don't see any talk of suicide and the list reflects many if not most teenage perceived problems...part of growing up.. if she was that bad then she would be going to professional organisations that every teen knows about and school services...all kids know about these agencies etc these days.. AB is not the samaratins ...Many of these posts are tongue in cheek and always seem to come from new posters first questions ?

[Islay]

Perhaps you should re read it
// I haven't told her about my thoughts of suicide //

[albaqwerty]

Minty

'I haven't told her about my thoughts of suicide but I told her I think I'm depressed and she yelled at me, saying to never say it again and that I'm not... '

[murraymints]

soz..did not see that..but my reply is the same

[DTCwordfan]

show your mother this thread and, failing any empathy on the home front, then a school counsellor or a teacher that you can trust.

[EcclesCake]

I am shocked by the harshness and utter lack of compassion in this thread!

Darkpelt, as has been suggested try again to sit your mum down and talk things over. If that doesn't work then have a chat with whoever is responsible for pastoral care at you school.

Good luck.

[Old_Geezer]

Hang in there. It gets better. Teenage hormones and brain/body changes means you can have dark thoughts and perceptions at your age, but they aren't forever. It settles, and then others seeming to mismatch with yourself becomes less, and seems less important anyway. We're all living our life, doing what we can, how we can; doesn't always fit with what another wants. Make the most of what it is you do like. And do continue to try to talk to others about your concerns, your parents especially.

[Old_Geezer]

Just a thought, why not develop an interest in less gory artwork ? Your mother may appreciate that more. And it might lighten your mood rather than reinforce feelings of being down.

[bednobs]

of course, we only have one side of a (probably complicated) story here, With these feelings you're having, i urge you to talk to someone outside your family - school counsellor perhaps? i remember being your age and thinking i had the weight of the world on my shoulders andhow it's difficult to get any perspective

[gness]

Dark.....difficult time, isn't it? Firstly please ignore the negative comments you've had on here....AB can be a good place to get help and advice......as long as you filter out the unkind replies....

From experience talking to Mum about your feeling may not be the best solution just now....it can be hard for mums to not see problems as a criticism.....
Talking to a school counsellor...I hope you have one...or another adult is a good idea....
Perhaps even your doctor? Many health professionals are now more aware of the effect problems which may seem trivial can have on someone your age......

Take advice and please get your feelings sorted......you have some fun teen years ahead of you.....and whilst we adults can seem to make them difficult for you.....enjoy them!....gx