Sons father smokes a lot of Canabis and wants son over nite

[harrison22]

my sons father smokes a lot of canabis and he wants to see son overnite at his house 40miles away, im concerned about him driving my son around after smoking drugs and my son being in the house when hes smoking drugs.
im happy for him to see son at my house and as long as he dosent drive him anywhere. Can i stop him driving son as i fear for my childs safety while father is under influence of drugs

[divegirl]

Hi, this is not a legal reply, but having been in a similar situation I understand your worries. How old is your son? My eldest was 11 when his dad left so was capable of looking after himself and his younger sister when they were supposedly in the care of their father. On one very rare occassion that my ex actually came into my house [on bringing the children home] he was very obviously stoned, I totally lost it with him, I couldn't believe that he had driven the car in the state that he was in....and he only had a couple of miles to drive. I told him in no uncertain terms that if I saw him in this state again I would report him to the police, I also made my son promise that if his dad was ever in this state again [whilst looking after my kids] that he would tell me and I could get them home safetly.

If your ex insists on taking your son to his house.... you have a complete dilemna...He may be 'straight' when he picks him up....but who knows what happens whist your son is with him? Unless your child is of an age where he can phone you and tell you he is worried DON'T let him go! You are not denying access and if your ex can not grow up and act like a responsible adult he does not deserve to look after his son.

Hopefully someone will answer your question on a legal level, but I completely understand your concern..... So for now....say no

Lisa x

[hightower]

Legal him suren;t be driving full stop. It is against the law to driving while under the influence of drug's. So legal you can stop him, By reporting him to the police, And telling them what he's doing. It's for your son's safety and is life, But you can ask your ex, Not to smoke the cannibas while driving your son about, And ask your son to keep a eye on him. And if your son say's he has being doing it then you have the full right to stop you ex from taking your son. And you let the law know. P.s trust me i've been there.

[Loosehead]

Personally I wouldn't let my kid anywhere near someone who thinks so little of him that he smokes in the house, let alone a dope smoking loser.

[harrison22]

Hi thank you so much for the replys my little boy is only 2 years old and not old enough to take care of himself, the father is calling me all sorts of things as i will not let him take him, but its my babys safety that is most important here i just want my son where he is safe. he imself is seeking legal help and i want to make sure he cant have my baby overnite, cause im afraid for his life if he stayes in that house all his friends are on drugs and who knows what could happen i have done well to escape,

[divegirl]

Hi, Well done you for standing up for your child's safety. Let your ex go for legal advice....then when he gets it tell him you think that family mediation would be in the best interest of all involved. Step 2.....Get him round a table with you and and a counsellor/mediator and ask him about his drug problem. Tell all involved your reasons for not letting him have sole contact.... basically shame him into confronting his drug problem. It is hard, but you can do this...I did. Fortunately I could rely on my son to tell me that his dad was 'behaving', you will need to come to an alternative solution. Good luck....remember, we're here for you.

Lisa x