When love just isn't enough...

[LouBoo]

OK, bear with me here. This is going to take some explaining. I'm female (and gay) and just broken up with another woman, we'd been going out for 2 months. Not a long period of time, but the time we spent togther was that intense it felt about 8 months.

OK, so all this happened just before Xmas. We've worked together for a few years, but never realised she liked me.. perhaps this is because we hardly ever spoke, as far as I knew she was straight.. was in a long term relationship and was actually engaged..!! After a night out she confessed that she really liked me, always had and the reason we never spoke is because she liked me that much she found it hard! Anyway.. i knew I was playing with fire, but the feeling was mutual, altho I could hardly believe what was happening. Over Xmas we couldn't stop thinking about each other, wanting to be with each other and by mid-January the wedding had been cancelled, she'd split from her boyfriend and he'd moved out. She confessed to me that she'd been wanting to split with him for a while as for the past year they have just been like best friends.

Sooo.. everything was going really well with us completely integrated lives with friends and things, nothing sneaky.. and then at the weekend she puts on the brakes and wants to end it. She says I will probably have to move away come September because of my job and she already feels too much for me and can't be with someone if she doesn't see a long term future in things. That its not that she doesn't love me or want me, just that this has to end now. So the split was amicable and she still wants to be good friends.

I'm left here SO in love with her and I really don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. Things have been really intense, I didn't see this coming at all and feel like I've hit a brick wall :os

Does anyone have any help or advice? Thanks x

[jno]

I'm not 100% sure I believe her story - breaking up because you might not be there in 8 months' time sounds crazy - very inflexible, to say the least. It may be she's still not quite sure of her own sexuality, met a guy and surprised to find she fancies him or something like that...

Anyway, as for you, there's not much anyone can do when they're dumped. Don't feel you have to be good friends if you don't feel like it, though. You might well be better off keeping as far out of her way as possible until your own feelings have cooled a bit. Sorry you're caught up in a storm like this - it's nothing to do with being gay, I don't think, the same thing happens to straights