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thanks for the reassurance bedknobs,but my son is 28 not a young adult, he should no better, my sister sometimes opens her mouth without thinking, she might have spoken to him about me,and how i felt when he lived near to me, and never came across to offer to take my shopping and alike,she has a better relationship with him, she has been across to see before me, he said that she basically invited herself, and she mouthed off to me about his girlfriend on the fone,i didnt say a word to my son, he said things about her children,engaged my brain and didnt say anything,to both of them,i used to feel quite resentful of her,thought she was trying to take my place,dont feel like that now, but i am due to go down to see her, at the end of the month,but i am trying to keep calm,want to ring her and ask if she has spoken to him, if she has theres no way i am going,does she realise whats she has done if she has???