ChatterBank2 mins ago
please help. i need ex bf advice.
6 Answers
we've been split up nearly 2 years and i would be happy never to see him again but he still has time with our son twice a week(which i have to give him credit for as i thought this would've tailed off ages ago)
the problem has been his attitude towards me particularly in front of our 5 yr old son and it has worsened lately. he talks down to me, makes sarky remarks, and start statements such i'm not having a go but...then has a go about something.he is also grumpy with me quite often.something that my 5 yr old has even brought up in conversation to me.
i feel this really needs to stop as it's obviously not how i want to be talked to and even more so not how i want my son to hear someone talking to me and for him to think it's ok to talk to me like that as dad does!!!
the problem is on handovers we do need to communicate to some extent as my son is diabetic so i have to let his dad know how much he's eaten ,whether he needs to eat or have his mealtime insulin jab. but even then he talks over me when i'm telling him this important information. it's all very frustrating. i absolutely need to tackle this but not sure how. if i talk to him is he going to listen?? or should i write him a letter stating all this ..at least then he can't interrupt me. what do you guys think? any advice appreciated. ps he split the relationship up and i think bad feeling/jealousy is playing a part in all this and he does actually mean to behave this way to me to wind me up. i've tried ignoring it and rising above it but my son is noticing now. :O(
the problem has been his attitude towards me particularly in front of our 5 yr old son and it has worsened lately. he talks down to me, makes sarky remarks, and start statements such i'm not having a go but...then has a go about something.he is also grumpy with me quite often.something that my 5 yr old has even brought up in conversation to me.
i feel this really needs to stop as it's obviously not how i want to be talked to and even more so not how i want my son to hear someone talking to me and for him to think it's ok to talk to me like that as dad does!!!
the problem is on handovers we do need to communicate to some extent as my son is diabetic so i have to let his dad know how much he's eaten ,whether he needs to eat or have his mealtime insulin jab. but even then he talks over me when i'm telling him this important information. it's all very frustrating. i absolutely need to tackle this but not sure how. if i talk to him is he going to listen?? or should i write him a letter stating all this ..at least then he can't interrupt me. what do you guys think? any advice appreciated. ps he split the relationship up and i think bad feeling/jealousy is playing a part in all this and he does actually mean to behave this way to me to wind me up. i've tried ignoring it and rising above it but my son is noticing now. :O(
Answers
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.aww i feel for you. my immediate thought was send your son out to him with even a wee written diary of what he has eaten etc...especially if he isnt listenin then you have it down in writing.
not ideal i know, but it limits contact. you def dont want your son growing up thinking its ok to treat you like that- you sound like a great mummy, good luck xx
not ideal i know, but it limits contact. you def dont want your son growing up thinking its ok to treat you like that- you sound like a great mummy, good luck xx
I agree with Tinks. My ex is a total pain and we couldn't spend 2 minutes together without him starting about something. So for the past 6 years when he comes to collect our daughter he will ring the bell or text her, then wait in the car. When she was younger I would watch till she was in the car, and when he drops her off he waits till she gets inside but ex and I do not have to see each other. Any communication we have to do about her is either by text or email. It's not ideal for my daughter, but far better than us fighting every time we see each other, or having him be nasty and me getting upset.
Thankyou both for your advice. i was thinking about doing something along these lines , it's a shame to have to go to these measures but the ex is not giving me much choice.
if anyone is entitled to have an attitude with the other after how things ended up it's me which makes it even harder to bear when i can keep it civil but he can't.
if anyone is entitled to have an attitude with the other after how things ended up it's me which makes it even harder to bear when i can keep it civil but he can't.
That's a good point jack. i hadn't thought of it that way round.
I have now broached the subject with my ex about his behaviour and to start he said it doesn't matter as our son is too young to notice (it's not the 1st time i've heard this excuse) which really maddened me as it is absolute rubbish as it does matter and little guy 100% notices. I think my message has now got through!!!
I'm going to carry on handovers as normal for now and see how it goes and if it's still bad I will have to think again about the diary idea.
I have now broached the subject with my ex about his behaviour and to start he said it doesn't matter as our son is too young to notice (it's not the 1st time i've heard this excuse) which really maddened me as it is absolute rubbish as it does matter and little guy 100% notices. I think my message has now got through!!!
I'm going to carry on handovers as normal for now and see how it goes and if it's still bad I will have to think again about the diary idea.