Can I contact ex after common assault caution?

[sbegum]

I got arrested and sent to the police station for common assault. I did NOT assault my ex, even the on duty solicitor said not to accept the caution. I accepted not because I was guilty but at home my overlly religious parents and siblings have found out, and all I can think about that moment was going home and sorting out this mess. Even the CCTV shows me grab his phne not his arm. I was also fasting due to Ramadhan. My question is I have since felt like my ex needs to know how much he has hurt me and I wish to send an email to him? Is this ok? Just one final email.

[China Doll]

I wouldn't have thought so. You accepted you were guilty (regardless of your reasons), and if you get in touch with him without him contacting you then I guess it could look pretty bad on you. Plus what's the point in emailing him? He's an ex and him knowing that he hurt you is hardly going to change anything.

[pizza]

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction !
He knows if you assaulted him or not, best to move on sounds like you're better off without him.

[Kiki-frog]

I'm sure he knows exactly how much he has hurt you, and confirming this will only add to his satisfaction. Don't have any contact with him - if he makes up nonsense like this, then he's really not worth the effort, and he might even claim that you're harrassing him. Steer clear and move on.

[Ellipsis]

> Just one final email

And if he replies with something you don't like? Or if he doesn't reply at all? What exactly do you hope to get out of this email?

My advice to you would be to write the email. Work very hard on it, and revise it several times until it's perfect. Don't send it at that stage, but go to bed.

Next morning, read it back to yourself. By then, you should not need to send it and should just be able to delete it, having got the whole thing off your chest. To sum up, I would NOT recommend sending that email but I WOULD recommend giving yourself the satisfaction of writing it and then deleting it ...

[sbegum]

Thank you all very much for your help. The police officer whom interviewed me was lovely and understanding of my situation as was the duty solicitor. I called them as they provided telephone numbers for support and said I was having tendancies of sending an email....they said can send one, but then no more contact after that.
I know I should not send but for the past year he has hurt me sooo much, and I have been through two abortions and a lot of physical and emotional abuse. I just feel he got away with it.If I wasnt so family oriented and cared tooo much about them, with duty solicitor advise I would NEVER have accepted the caution.

[bednobs]

you can't really blame him for 2 abortions though can you?

[eyethenkyew]

"I accepted not because I was guilty...."

In which case you obviously told lies to the Police because someone will only ever receive a formal caution as long as they accept that they did indeed commit the alleged offence.

What a mixed up individual you are?

[EDDIE51]

By accepting a caution you have admitted that you were guilty. If you were genuinely not guilty then you should have refused the caution and gone for a trial. Too late now. But I do not see why this stops you from contactig him. Is there a lot more to this that we do not know? In view of all this I can't for the life of me see what diffrence an email is going to make.

[sbegum]

I only accepted as I needed to go home, I was on Ramadan, and my strict muslim family had found out. I didnt wish for it to go to trail, as it will be too traumatic for my family.
I am not sending the email by the way, as he has since called me and apologised himself for letting it take me sooo far. He is contemplating in addition contacting police and telling them I grabbed his phone not him.
so happy times....thank you for the good advise.
much appreciated.

[grffindoor2011]

NEVER accept a caution if you are not guilty. No matter what the reason, be it having to go home, are tired, need to get to get to an Olympic event etc.

Accepting a caution is accepting guilt. Although many will argue in other cases that it is a let off, it will show up on a CRB check.

As for sending an email. Very tempting isn't it? The problem is, once you start and he replies who knows what could happen. If he doesn't reply, you will feel even more angry. Move on or you will find yourself in a vicious circle.