how to avoid a computer virus

[wolf63]

I generally wear socks when browsing, and have never had a computer virus problem since I started wearing socks, they cost a few pennies, but imo they are worth it, as they have clearly kept my computer infection free for many years. Cotton socks always come highly rated in the monthly cotton industry bible sock review, but strangely they don't have the same rankings in the nylon and polyester trade journals. The fashion magazines said white was best in the 80's, then it went to black, and now it changes every 2-3 months, so I don't know what colour gives the best AV protection. The IT guy at work recommends a cotton/polyester blend, he's bound to know all about socks, because he works in IT right, and they must spend weeks of training in sock factories before they are allowed anywhere near a computer monitor?

An assistant in a well known PC shop, once told me to always wear (preferably yellow) branded socks when using a computer because it is the best protection against infections - he luckily happened to have some yellow socks on the shelf next to the printers, so I took him up on his advice. Sadly even though they costed quite a bit, they only lasted a year, and annoyingly tended to make we walk a little slower.

I got a new pc one year, and it came with a free pair of red socks, for 90 days, but my walking was painfully slow, and they started automatically billing me every year for a new pair of red socks whether I wanted them or not. In the bin they went.

I tried some Russian socks, they were very warm, fluffy, and cosy, but every so often would get tangled up in the washing machine which would flash up a database error and stop working, most frustrating.

I read a whichwhatwhy magazine review on socks, and all they seemed to be interested in was the sock length and colour of the packaging , the walking speed/antivirus effect didn't have any weighting in the scores at all, they chose an Average eastern european brand I've never heard of this year, and a completely different one the year before.

Microsock started giving away their own metropolitan styled budget socks free to anyone who can interpret a failed windows updates error code - but they are always a little wary of getting caught affecting other antivirus vendors trade, so it's like an apprentices first attempt at a cake - lumpy, very dry, no cream on top, with a big byte missing.

Tried a free German sock, but they would constantly nag me to buy it, every day, without fail, wouldn't take no for an answer. Followed countless forum posts on how to stop this nagging, none worked.

One day i wore pink socks which had a hole in, and got infected - I vowed never to wear holy pink socks again whilst using a computer, and have passed that information on to everyone I know ever since, now it's a scientifically proven fact, people who wear holy pink socks will get infected, and any other colour of sock is safe, and that will be true until the end of time because it happened to me once.

Pink sock fashion weekly still pushes the pink and a moneysaving website I know of, pushes their disciples towards anything that seems a bargain, without actually knowing how good any of the products are, or what effect they may have on your street cred - I don't think they know much about computers, or colours, maybe they are more interested in advertising revenue or headline grabbing articles.

In the end, I decided to conduct my own test, to find out the most comfortable and lightweight pair of socks, as close to free as i could find, and strangely whether I paid £50 for a designer pair, or got some free ones out of next doors bin, I didn't get a virus.
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Conclusions!

You are unlikely to get an infection if you don't go to an infected website or open an infected mail/instant message/file - socks (any brand/style/colour/price) or no socks.

****cont below

[wolf63]

continuation ...


Any AV recommendation you read on the web or in magazines, or get from anyone anywhere, will be subjective, and is most likely wrong or biased, or flawed or narrow, or uninformed, or out of date, or overly influenced by advertisers/journalists/heresay - the only people who know about socks are the few people who make and test them, and even they change their views on which is best from time to time.

The main difference between free antivirus detection, and paid for products, is generally found in the marketing budget.

Wearing too many pairs of socks at once is very uncomfortable.

If I don't have a pair of socks handy, Avast free seems to work as well as any pair of socks i've tried - go figure. All socks get holes from time to time though, so carry a backup pair (malwarebytes) just in case.

*********I didn't write this - I stole it from somewhere else.

[Brinjal]

Ha ha very funny but I did have the russian sock which were great but they expired while i was away. For one day i didnt wear any socks then got the free microsock which detected that in that space of time i had caontacted a virus. trojan. The socks have quarantined the virus but not removed it.

[whiskeryron]

Having read wolfie's message re socks & virus's I have conducted my own research & have reached the conclusion that it all depends on the type of socks one chooses. I have now decided that the best are definately the overall type, in other words socks that are attached to a hood. By this I mean a one piece hooded garment that covers the entire body including the feet, no virus or any other foreign can possibly get through & as a bonus I discovered that it will also be most beneficial to females because it will not allow pregnances through.

WR.

[Peaches15]

very funny about wearing sock. just purchased a new computer, others webpage are fine in speed but only have a bit problem in AnswerBank, typing into the message box is slow and keep giving me blue circle timer. Why? Any advise. Thanks in advance.