Feeling Frustrated With House Search.

[Jenarry]

As problems go it's not a bad one to have ...I do count myself very lucky but I'm feeling pretty frustrated as me and hubby are house-hunting right now and we seem to have different tastes/priorities and I'm wondering if we will find a house that ticks the boxes for both of us.
We saw a house last weekend that he really liked but the house and the village it's in didn't win me over and we saw a house tonight that I thought was just so perfect for our little family ..I liked it so much and he wasn't taken with it all. :( :( I don't know if it was because it was at the top end of our price range but it was only £10k more than the house he liked and there was so much more house for the money and in the area we originally wanted.
i think he has been won over by the parking and large garage and lots of sheds at last weekends house(they had 3 sheds and a smallish garden) but you live in the house not the outside space. :(

[Maydup]

I feel for you Jenarry, its such a big committment. You don't want to be feeling compromised and that the grass might have been greener, once you have moved in.

Maybe now you've slept on it you will see things more clearly but all I can suggest is you keep looking and go with an open mind. Try to encourage him to sit down this afternoon with a glass of wine and run through the advantages and disadvantages. Shed v location. Room size v price etc.

Its worthing remembering that it is one of the most stressful things we have to do in our lives, because even when you've chosen you still have to keep everything crossed that the exchange will actually complete. Try to be practical and keep your expectations a little lower than you might like normal allow yourself. Good luck!

[gness]

Oh I do feel for you, Jen.......I got to hate house hunting and I was on my own. It's such a big decision and as Maydup says, it doesn't end when you've decided this is the house for you...

A young soon to be married couple came to view my house....they both loved the house but outside was to be a problem.
He was smitten with the three car garage and workroom, two storey brick barns and the swimming pool...plus the large garden.
She was much more realistic....too much for them to look after as they both worked and knew nothing about gardens.
As they left to "think it over" I heard him say....We won't look any more..this is the house I want.

That was when the row started....in the street....and ended with her telling him where to stuff his house...throwing her ring at the car and storming away.

I often wonder if that was the end or if they kissed and made up....☺

Take Maydup's advice......discuss priorities before you view.....and good luck with finding one you both love.....x

[Jenarry]

we are off to look at 3 more houses today but I'm not feeling optimistic about any of them going by pics on rightmove but hopefully they will better in 'the flesh'. wish us luck.

[woofgang]

its not just the bricks and mortar aspect....even though people will deny it, finding a house can be about the kind of lifestyle that you dream of. With respect, I don't think its right to say that that you live in the house and not the outside space...my life would currently be a lot easier if that were true as next door's noisy children are making my outside space very difficult indeed.

Its a bit of a balancing act....while there is an emotional aspect and that must be respected, can I suggest that while you are discussing the houses, try and keep it objective. Try and avoid stopping at how a house made you feel and drill down to objectively why it made you feel that way. It might also help to make a list of the "essentials" and the "desirables" Make one each, agree them and then swap lists so that he is looking for houses with what you want and you are looking for houses with what he wants.

[woofgang]

gness, I suspect that your story says a lot about how unhappy the bloke is with his current lifestyle and what he would really like to be doing!

[pixie374]

It can be frustrating one of you thinks they have seen the perfect one and the other pours cold water on it. While it's worth talking about some priorities for each of you, I think it often just comes down to the feeling you get when you look around, which is harder to rationalise. If you look around enough, I'm sure you will find one that you both are happy with. Don't get disheartened, keep looking and good luck xx

[woofgang]

are you in any hurry to move? Does your DH feel positive about the houses you are going to view? Its easy for house hunting fatigue to set in which doesn't help. Personally i wouldn't even be going to view unless I felt the houses had potential. Have you done any location homework and ruled in/out areas and villages by agreement?

[zebo]

We spent ages, 3 years or more, looking at houses because ours wasn't selling. Eventually we got a cash offer and had to start looking again, we looked at a couple on one trip, we were on the other side of the country, and I reluctantly agreed to look at another one I didn't like the looks of. We were inside for 5 minutes, sat in the garden, decided to have it and made an offer. A day later it was accepted so it can happen very quickly, good luck though it can be frustrating.

[jourdain2]

Perhaps you need to each make a list of things you would like and then hone these down to the 'non-negotiables'. This may clarify your views of houses.

We had a bit of a job last autumn because Mr. J2 was stuck in France so I had to come over and do the leg-work on my own. We compiled lists, from exhaustive internet searches in the areas we wanted and slashed them down to about 18. That's a lot of houses to see when you are driving around unknown territory and doing an assessment of areas at the same time. I had 1 week - and 6 days with the hire car.

Every evening we discussed what I had seen, gradually getting down to a tighter area and 3 houses and last day I got to see them all with agents.

I felt miserably responsible when I got back and it basically came down to him trusting me when we made our decision. In the end, we are where we are now - and we both like it! It does not meet every one of our criteria, but enough of them to suit us both and we feel very happily settled in this village.

It's all about compromise. I just offer the way we sorted it out and hope it helps. :)

[woofgang]

jourdain, last time we moved, it was more or less the same. We had 2 weeks to get info (23 years ago it was all paper and snail mail) and one weekend to view. We made our lists of essentials and desirables then DH left me to whittle down the 60 plus sets of details down to the ones to view which turned out to be 5. Happily we both liked the same one.

[Jenarry]

Thankyou. i have been bearing this advice in mind about only bothering with the real possible houses so we don't get fed up with the whole thing. Now there seems to be a complete lack of any houses coming onto the market in the areas we want which is really worrying. The house my hubby really liked is still on the market so i keep going over he pros and cons of this house ,bearing in my mind we have buyers for our house so we can't hold them up too long.
Someone we was talking to this weekend recommended putting all our stuff into storage and moving into a caravan park in the area we want to move to while we carry on looking as you can rent from week to week. which seems like such a hassle but at least we will keep our buyers happy and it will take pressure off but what if we don't find anything? then we would have sold up the house I quite like for nothing. i'm not enjoying this house buying experience very much . :(

[Jenarry]

Ps the house I have liked the most that we saw last weekend sold straight away that weekend. :(
And I wonder that if the house my hubby likes so much was that great it would have been snapped up too but instead it has been on the market 3 months next week.