The Day Was Going Well

[gness]

Until I went out. On the way to the garden centre I stopped to have my car washed by the lovely Polish guys....I could do it myself...but I'm at the age where we should take pleasure where we can.
Unusually there were no other cars for me to queue behind so the tall, good looking chap came towards me and pointed to the bay I should use. I swear he went away then...though I was busy touching up the lippy and mascara....which not only accounts for my inattention but the speed at which I was travelling when my wing mirror made contact with his rather nice, tight bum.
I don't speak Polish...neither do I understand it, but I now know that the facial expressions accompanying a barrage of swear words are pretty much universal.
My car was cleaned in record time.

I have been looking for comfy patio furniture that will withstand the sun. There in the garden centre was the perfect piece. All in one...metal...two cushioned chairs with a raised, metal centre table made of glass with a hole in the middle to house the large parasol...which was not set into a base...just stuck in the hole. Bad mistake that.
To make sure it wan't plastic I tapped the table...lightly you understand. It wasn't secure....and it wasn't plastic.
Can you imagine the sound of glass and metal hitting the concrete floor of a cavernous garden centre?
It was magnificent and what's more the glass didn't break..very much. That was a point in it's favour. The same can't be said for the display of indoor plants in ceramic pots which were now under the parasol.
With my one free hand I lifted the parasol...heavy devils aren't they? It started to spin in large circles around my head...you remember those men on TV in the 50s who would spin plates on sticks? I can do it with a parasol.
I considered crying but the young couple who had been watching me stopped laughing long enough to rescue the parasol and suggest I look at more substantial seating.
Pity...it looked lovely....:-(

[Tilly2]

Just another normal day for you then, Gness.

[jno]

you may have misunderstood the phrase "cut and polish"

[slinky.kate]

I have been relly fed up today,i wish I lived near you ,you would brighten up my day.i get such a laugh at your antics,so did you get garden furniture?

[murraymints]

Will the security camera footage be available on YouTube G ? Lol...

[Psybbo]

Could have been worse, you could have been on a bicycle! Meanwhile, the highlight of my day was cleaning and disinfecting my shoes after inadvertently stepping in dog poo.

[Psybbo]

Oh and please let Tony and the goats out, Tilly needs them

[Tilly2]

Psybbo, if you'd been wearing Crocs, you could have just put them in a bucket of water and let them soak.

[pixie373]

You do have to test these things before you buy them. You made the right move x

[Tilly2]

No, I don't need the goats. I fixed it.

[gness]

So far...fairly normal but heck..didn't think of security cameras...
No, Slinky...didn't see anything I liked as much but I did buy a half price obelisk and a book on cycling....think I will go for an e-bike...I drove around the country on the way home...as much to calm down as anything and it is jolly hilly....x

[Psybbo]

A lot of crevices, Tilly, I used the hose first

[gness]

Pixie...I didn't move much at all...just everything around me that did.. ;-)
Having an early wine...wish I still smoked...:-(

[Tilly2]

Will you be smoking your e-cigs on your e-bike, Gness?

[excelsior-1]

that's two gness

these things always happen in threes

[gness]

Ooooo...Tilly's quick...Yes...I shall cough and splutter around the lanes of Northants....

[Buenchico]

Hi Gness

The Polish for "Sorry" is "Przepraszam", which is roughly pronounced as 'pshay-praar-ssham'.

Can you guess what I'm studying at evening classes? Unfortunately we've not done the Polish for "Nice bum" yet!

However in order to interpret what was said to you, you might be in need of this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dictionary-Obscenities-Polish-English-Stanislaw-Kielbasa/dp/0933884931

;-)

[gness]

Excel!!! Are you my mother???

[excelsior-1]

huh??

[gness]

Oh, Chris....you love! I shall find....I am really sorry for bruising your lovely, tight bum...and highlight it for him....
I did add an extra tip....x

[gness]

Excel...if something bad happened my Ma would look sorrowful and say..
Mark my words...that won't be the end of it....
Cheery soul...my mother...:-(