hey

[sarah*]

hi i need some help in my confusing relationship

i was mates with this lad who i thought was a good friend he has a gf but would still flirt with me like mad.

i didnt mind the flirting but it did confuse me a little anyway all of a sudden he has stopped talking to me it started a couple of weeks ago when i would say hi to him at work but instead of being friendly like he always was he would be very distance

it went on like that for a week or so and i got sick and tired of it so i kind of stopped going up to him and treated the him the same way he treated me

now we have stopped talking but i still like him and i still want to be mates with him

i no he  has a gf so im not going to do anything stupid and he knows that aswell

wat shall i do should i make the first move and start talking to him ( i dont no wat that will do though he still may hate me for something i dont no ive done ) or shall i ignore him in which case how do i stop thinking about him

help please thank u  im 18 by the way

[bumble]

Do you work with this guy? I had exactly the same thing happen to me.  I got on really well with a guy I worked with, we were really close and always flirted with each other. He didn't have a girlfriend but had a lot of personal problems.  I never knew where I stood with him, as he never made it clear, but I did like him. I came back from holiday and he just started ignoring me and it was as if I'd never existed, with no explanation, and it hurt. I asked what was wrong and he said we just didn't get on.  I never spoke to him again.  I had to work with him for a whole month until he left.  My advise, give as good as you get, make no attempt to speak to this guy. 

[willow74]

i wouldnt play tit for tat and start ignoring him back. its childish and petty.  i would suggest if you miss chatting to this work mate then just ask calmly 'have i done something to upset you as we seemed to of stopped being as cool as we were'.  if he is rude then you so dont need him as a mate or potential boyf do you.

he may realise u fancy him and has pulled back cos he does have a girlfiend.   The main thing is that if he does have a girlfriend then you can clearly only be his mate anyway.  if u are wanting to start chatting to him just as friends and you are cool with that then just be casual and chilled with him.  he will soon realise your a cool person to just get on with and he is not uncomfortable with you having a crush.

definately dont ignore him as it could just be that he has alot going on in his life at the moment and just isnt feeling chatty/flirty.  just be casual and say hello. if he ignores you again then say the bit of 'have i done something wrong'

[sarah*]

 thanks guys

yeah bumble i work with this guy

its a part time job that i have, i go to college and then work in the evenings.

im going to see him today at work so im going to ask if ive done something wrong  like willow 74 said but if i dont like his reply and he is rude then im sorry but i cant take it all any more and im gonna give as good as i can get.

i just hope i can stop thinking about him as it gets in the way of my college work and i keep feeling that he hates me coz ive done something wrong and im so confused

ill write to ya again to tell you what he said

thanks again  

[bumble]

I'm glad to help, being in the same situation.  It will be difficult for you to forget about him if you have to continue to work with him, but he's obviously not worth bothering about. 

[willow74]

if he is rude tonight then dont bite his head off. just say 'please yourself' or shrug your shoulders at him and walk off. Dont kick off cos you dont wanna risk losing your job over a sulking boy. 

if he is rude forget his friendship but dont go mad at him.