Just say no!

[EvianBaby]

Not to drugs, or cigarettes. Well maybe them but more importantly to house guests.

I have my brother, his wife and their daughter (just under 2) arriving tomorrow until Wednesday.

At first I was looking forward to my first proper house guests and even told them they'd be better to stay here than at dads but this was before I remembered what a pain in the arse my sister in law is.

Then I heard that little Ava (the daughter) is a bit off colour so this means SIL will be even more demented than normal. I mean this woman is deranged. She makes my brothe watch TV in silence with the subtitles when Ava is in bed and you're not allowed to flush the toilet.

Plus, despite how well presented she always is, she actually lives like a pig. I'm talking dirty nappies lying around and bits of old food left to slowly rot down the side of the sofa. I'm beginning to regret my offer.

Anyone want to put me up for a few days?

(I'm waiting for the cat to come home so I can go to bed and immensely bored so thought I'd share my dispare with you all)

[karenmac60]

I'm not very hospitable. I've not even had a visitor all year. It's great :D

[micmak]

EV. Say you have the lurgy so they must stay at your dads. In future think before you speak.

[EvianBaby]

Lol, think I might be more like you after this next few days?

[EvianBaby]

It's too late now Mic. Dad cancelled his order for the mattress to put on the spare bed at his (one I left behind) when he realised they were staying with me. I'd love it if my brother just came with the bubs. The three of us would have a great time.

[erin-x]

Make up a welcome pack for them with rules and routines à la Sheldon :)

[wolf63]

Get the cat to barf up a huge hairball at a meal time - even for cat lovers that is disgusting.

I hate people in my house - apart from the fact that it is pretty untidy it is my safety place from the world.

I hope puss upchucks soon.

[micmak]

Then it's a case of biting the bottom lip EV when she says something you disagree with.

[gness]

Spare room here Evian. Mucky visitors once and did say no when they asked again.

[EvianBaby]

Ha ha! Good plan! Think I'll include something about being made a cuppa every morning should I be woken up at some ungodly hour by a crying child.

I bought BBT 1-4 box set a couple of weeks ago. Been watching bits of it most nights, it's brill!

[DaisyNonna]

My house guest is a hamster. Swap? Would not have to be polite to your SiL as we are not related!

[EvianBaby]

I'm well practiced at that Mic. I learnt even when I tell her she is being gross she just laughs.

Wolf, they have 4 cats. Nothing like that would put them off.

Gness, any chance you can get that builder back for my arrival?

[karenmac60]

Fart a lot. They'll never come back :)

[gness]

Been here tonight Ev so another social evening is possible. Or we could knock down the fence!

[EvianBaby]

He he, my brother might be in his early 30s but he enjoys nothing more than hearing a good trump. In fact he almost demands it.

I think I better just get a whole load of alcohol and chocolate in. That'll numb it a little.

(I am actually very excited about seeing my beautiful niece by the way)

[EvianBaby]

I'll being the lump hammer Gness! And a push up bra.

[erin-x]

I love it! You have to get them to sign the 'Guest Agreement' before they cross the front door :)

[EvianBaby]

I'm on it! Might email it in advance so they have a chance to chane their minds.

Oh god, just had a thought.... My lovely brown suede dining chairs. That child is going to be eating her bananas and rubbing it all over my beautiful habitat chairs!

(does it occur to anyone its probably a good thing I don't have my own kids)

[gness]

Ev. You remind me of my daughter who is childfree. Invited friends to stay then remembered their two year old. I got a call to ask will it touch anything and what to do if it did.

[Maydup]

How about going round to Dad's and leaving them to it? You could always kip on his sofa!

[EvianBaby]

Ha ha! I'm used to kiddies, I've got 8 nieces and nephews, the oldest 13 (little cow makes me feel so old). It's just I always forget how messy they are and how much they annoy me after about 10 minutes.