So Lets Shaft Our Farmers.....
News1 min ago
The Answerbank Radio Show - Episode 12
54 Answers
In the village of Answerbank Under the Wold (twinned with Middelfart, Denmark), a fierce debate was underway in the Quizzes & Puzzles Arms as to the parentage of Mike1111. The villagers had been stunned into silence the previous day when the village grump had claimed to be his father. DT, Mick Talbot, Sunnydave, the Reverend Venator, Seadogg and even the village idiot Baza had also claimed to be his father. It transpired that they had all been paying maintenance for the first 18 years of his life.
"His mother was on a good number there" cackled AYG from her ususal seat at the bar.
Over in the corner, Vodkancoke (still on bail but due in court imminently) was having an impromptu legal session with her advisor Barmaid.
"So let me get this straight, they have charged you with benefit fraud because you claimed a whole raft of benefits for your 23 children?" queried Barmaid.
"That's right" replied Vodkancoke.
"Do you have 23 children?" asked Barmaid, making notes on a pad.
"Erm, not exactly" said Vodka in an evasive tone.
"Well how many children do you have?"
"None" said Vodka in a quiet voice.
Just then the door opened and in strolled Murray"The Mauler" Mints with Tonyav slung casually over one shoulder.
"How did the date go?" asked Gness who was busy pouring a quadruple gin for Craft whilst trying to kick Jan57 awake.
Murray grinned, her buck toothed smile lighting up her homely face.
"I took him to a wrestling match. We were watching two old mates of mine, Sibton "The Strangler" and Chi-Chi "The Choker". Tony was really enjoying himself but then he made the mistake of booing Sibton. She leaped down from the ring and got him down on the floor using a classic move - a Double Origami followed by a Half Lotus Elan. I managed to twist his head back into position and he'll be ok when he comes round."
The door opened and in clacked Towie and Deesa on impossibly high white stilletoes.
"Orlright me darlin's, the wait is nearly over" screeched Deesa in a voice reminiscent of fingernails on a blackboard. "Our shop is having a grand opening this week and you are all invited."
"Are you going to tell us what the shop is going to be?" slurred Alba from under her usual table.
Towie patted her peroxide beehive and grinned.
(cue theme music as episode ends)
"His mother was on a good number there" cackled AYG from her ususal seat at the bar.
Over in the corner, Vodkancoke (still on bail but due in court imminently) was having an impromptu legal session with her advisor Barmaid.
"So let me get this straight, they have charged you with benefit fraud because you claimed a whole raft of benefits for your 23 children?" queried Barmaid.
"That's right" replied Vodkancoke.
"Do you have 23 children?" asked Barmaid, making notes on a pad.
"Erm, not exactly" said Vodka in an evasive tone.
"Well how many children do you have?"
"None" said Vodka in a quiet voice.
Just then the door opened and in strolled Murray"The Mauler" Mints with Tonyav slung casually over one shoulder.
"How did the date go?" asked Gness who was busy pouring a quadruple gin for Craft whilst trying to kick Jan57 awake.
Murray grinned, her buck toothed smile lighting up her homely face.
"I took him to a wrestling match. We were watching two old mates of mine, Sibton "The Strangler" and Chi-Chi "The Choker". Tony was really enjoying himself but then he made the mistake of booing Sibton. She leaped down from the ring and got him down on the floor using a classic move - a Double Origami followed by a Half Lotus Elan. I managed to twist his head back into position and he'll be ok when he comes round."
The door opened and in clacked Towie and Deesa on impossibly high white stilletoes.
"Orlright me darlin's, the wait is nearly over" screeched Deesa in a voice reminiscent of fingernails on a blackboard. "Our shop is having a grand opening this week and you are all invited."
"Are you going to tell us what the shop is going to be?" slurred Alba from under her usual table.
Towie patted her peroxide beehive and grinned.
(cue theme music as episode ends)
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I don't mind not getting paid. It is a privilege to be in this soap. Not only that I feel much better since drinking so much free coffee, since I am the only one who can work the coffee machine. Bit hyper-active though, perhaps I shouldn't drink so much but when the customers say 'have one for yourself' I just can't resist it.
